#even though it's still a little glamourized and stereotyped in the show

[detectiveships]

Can I now hope people watch and hopefully gif/screencap jtbc Agency since it will be released on Netflix?

Please go watch Lee Bo Young being a boss lady in her full glory kicking some arrogant men's asses ❤️‍🔥

Also I still need to rewatch the last two eps with decent subs this time around 😅

[topcatofficial]

my ideal modern day top cat reboot (not just tc and/or the gang serving as side characters in an ensemble cast in a hanna-barbera crossover cartoon) would be like,

tc and benny are the same as they always are (selfish hedonistic get-rich-quick schemer and his naive childhood bff enabler)

dibble is a private investigator (like he's always wanted to be) who is tc's other childhood friend (boyfriend) whose investigations somehow always end up intersecting with tc's schemes even when he's not actively investigating tc. i cant decide if i want him to stay human or not tho (dog dibble au my beloved miss u baby)

trans lesbian choo choo my beloved. weird and emotional, and constantly talks about her girlfriend lola glamour (theyre so t4t)

non-committal flirty serial monogamist gold digger fancy fancy, based on a mix of his cartoon personality and comic personality. like if fujiko mine were a catboy, who will sometimes betray the gang but they barely really hold it against him. tc doesnt, anyway

oblivious math wiz brain who is probably nonbinary but he's got finances to go over so he doesnt really care about that right now.

former-hellcat butch biker lesbian spook *giggles* i cant decide whether i want spook to be a she/her lesbian or a he/him lesbian, but very top cat begins/comic based characterization

roxy from the scrapped reboot finally gets to join the gang :) she can have jellystone brain's personality since he's not using it. she also has something extremely gay going on with spook

then side characters would be like,

myra and sheldon live in the city and periodically get involved in tc shenanigans! myra is very much so a neurotic worrywart who is constantly freaking out over the ways her twin brother's schemes can backfire. sheldon didnt really have a solid characterization in his book so maybe he can have jellystone fancy's personality?

kitty glitter from top cat and the beverly hills cats can be recurring because i like her <3 to me shes so lupin-iii-sadgirl coded

lola glamour gets to appear now and then and gets to be so annoyingly sappy pda with choo choo. has a lot of mentions and cameos though cuz shes still a star and shes dating choo choo who adores her childhood best friend turned lover <3 <3 <3

dibbles ex-wife periodically shows up and tc hates her soooooo much which is ironic because theyre kind of parallels. foils. the same but different. i would emphasize them being so similar and in fact that she reminded him of tc is why he married her and she does not like that one bit. self indulgent but i really dont care <3

i think they should have two kids (fred and daniel, based on comic dibble's names) just because i think it'd be funny as fuck. am i making him even more like zenigata? sure but my justification is dibble is a little league coach and camp counselor which is stereotypically things dads do to connect with their kids :P

jazz and beau can be recurring antagonists with their own gang that being dark parallels to tc's gang. teehee.

trixie from the first movie can be a recurring character too but only if shes an irredeemable antagonist in jazz's gang. the rest of jazz's gang consists of pantera from top cat begins, rocky from the comics, and skratch gets to exist separate from spook.

i guess griswald could be recurring since he had two eps and in the comics there was a recurring antagonist who was a bulldog but i dont care enough about griswald to expand on that idea

- oh wait he can be the actual cop since dibble is a PI now. duh. he literally became a police dog in one ep so it works.

cop cat from the comics can be griswald's partner although i think he needs a better name than "cop cat" ... maybe fuse him with officer prowler so he gets a cooler name. idk

[justmoreocs-writing]

For some, Christmas is the most magical time of the year. Dreams come true, wishes are plentiful and the promise of miracles hangs in the air. For others, however, the spell’s been broken. The magic ended – or was never there – and the whole thing is just too much.

It’s because of that, in part, that I got the license to perform on the street. If people have to have Christmas shoved down their throats, it’s the least I can do to bring some real magic to their lives.

Even as I unfold the table, I’m looking out for my glamourous assistant. Parents tug children through the throng of people, desperate to get the whole thing over and not lose their kids in the process. Most people are harassed, look as though they’d bite your head off it you even tried approaching them.

Except one bored kid. They’re scuffing their shoes while their father shows all signs of an exasperated phone call. The absent rubbing of his eyebrow makes me guess work – a twist of his wedding ring might’ve been a partner, but that’s not the case this time.

Not wanting to startle parent nor child, I fan out a deck of cards, making a show of the whole thing. With care, I flick one of the cards towards the duo. It looks like an accident, and I make an embarrassed face as I hurry over to them.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I bluster, fumbling for the card. The little boy scoops up the extra few I’ve let fall to the floor in the process. His father shoots me a mildly scathing look, but it recedes slightly as he recognises the stereotypical magician’s getup; if Ewan could see me now he’d accuse me of being a sell-out, but without the friendly rivalry that can draw attention to a show, it’s the next best thing.

‘Thanks,’ I murmur before hurrying back to my table. Already a little crowd has formed a ring around it, eager to see if it’s worth their time.

Despite his attempts to blend in, I spot Mac near the middle. How he knows I’ll be here, I don’t have time to puzzle out, but I store the musings away for later.

‘For my first trick,’ I announce, shuffling the cards without looking, ‘I need a volunteer.’ A few kids raise their hands in a second. I can’t see the boy from before, but he’s already a part of this.

Easily, I fan the cards out and offer them to a little girl. Her eyes are wide, expectant, but her hand shakes as she takes the card.

‘Show everyone but me,’ I instruct, making a show of turning around, of covering my eyes. I scan the sea of faces still surging towards shops and spot the little boy edging forwards. His father’s behind him, still on the phone but looking a little calmer now there’s a viable distraction.

‘Put it anywhere in the deck,’ I say, offering the cards without looking. The uncertain movements earn a couple of sniggers. Everyone loves it when a magician might just be getting something wrong, doesn’t matter what time of year it is.

In one fluid motion I stack the cards and face my audience. Mac’s smiling face is easy to spot, but I resolutely ignore him.

‘Now,’ I say, idly shuffling the cards, ‘your card didn’t want to be with the pack. It wanted to visit a friend so it won’t stay put.’ I ease a card from the deck, and by the gasp of wonder I know they haven’t seen me forcing the movement. Hastily, I try to tuck it back, but it pops out again a moment later.

With an irritable sigh I slap the cards onto the table and spread them out. With one flick I turn them all over and look to the little girl. ‘I think it went already.’

Her brow furrows as she inspects them. She glances back at the adults with her, but they’re just as baffled, drawn into the moment. However terrible they thought I was to begin with, their thoughts are quickly shifting. Some of the magic is rubbing off on them as well.

I glance around, spot the little boy and beam at him. ‘You’re the friend!’ I exclaim, patting my own pockets. ‘I think the Jack of Diamonds wanted to go on an adventure.’

The little girl gasps, but the boy’s brow furrows. Nonetheless, he sticks a hand in his jacket pocket. His eyes widen, going from a mask of indifference to shock. Carefully, as if not wanting to believe it, he pulls the card from his pocket.

‘Was that your card?’ I ask as he holds it up nervously, showing the crowd.

‘Yes!’ the little girl shouts, earning applause from those gathered around us.

A few people sneak away; others try dropping money into the little bucket I have. Most stay waiting for the next bit. I smile at my two partners.

‘Thanks,’ I say, taking the card and ripping it in half. I blow the parts before unfolding two full cards and passing them to the children. I wink at them before Mac arrives at my side.

I heave a sigh. No rest for Phoenix, apparently. But at least I got a little magic in the intermission.

[yasminbenoit]

Yasmin Benoit for Glamour Magazine: “People think I must be unlovable, fussy or mentally ill. Here's what it really means to be asexual and aromantic.”

Activist and model Yasmin Benoit dispels the myths around asexuality, 'the invisible orientation'.

The conversation around sexuality and the spectrum of gender identity has expanded greatly in recent years. We're finally beginning to explore all of the details, nuances and diversity of the topic, and acknowledging communities that have too long been shunned by society. But there's one community – my community – that has been left out of this step toward inclusivity.

I started to realise I was asexual around the time my peers around me realised they weren't. Puberty kicked in, hormones went flying, kids stopped wanting to just play together and started fancying each other instead. They became a lot more curious about their sexuality and wanted to express it.

But I just wasn't feeling it; I didn't get all the drama. In fact, I even switched to an all-girls' school because I thought, without boys, everyone would stop caring so much about sex and relationships, and would just chill out. Yeah, I was very wrong.

In secondary school, it became even more obvious that I wasn't feeling the same as the other teenagers – and they didn't like it. They started quizzing me constantly about why I felt the way I did.

"Are you gay?", "Is it a mental disorder?", "Is there something wrong with your genitals?", "Did you get molested as a child?", "You're probably just underdeveloped or a late bloomer?", "Surely you're just being too picky?", "You must just be unlovable or unattractive to everyone?"

My physical and mental health was up for debate. But back then, at 15, I didn't really have an answer. That's when one of my classmates said, "Maybe you're asexual or something." I'd only really heard the word 'asexual' used about organisms in biology class, not in the context of human sexuality.

So I Googled it and thought it sounded like me, but at the time, there was so much disinformation online that I wasn't 100% sure. Besides, when everybody keeps telling you there must be something wrong with you, after a while, you start to wonder if they're right. You begin to doubt yourself, to question your own life experiences, your own thoughts and identity.

It wasn't until I started talking to other asexual people – strangers online whose experiences, finally, reflected my own – that I started to realise I wasn't alone. This wasn't some sort of grand turning point though. It would take a number of years to stop doubting myself and my identity; a natural consequence of being pathologised and gaslighted for so long. Through launching my activism career to raise awareness of asexuality and aromanticism on my platform, I met an entire population of people like me. I attended the UK Asexuality Conference in 2018 and was greeted by hundreds of people who showed me the true diversity of the ace community.

There are asexual people who, like me, experience little to no levels of sexual attraction, and have no sexual or romantic – that's the 'aromantic' part – desire towards other people. But I learnt that there are a lot of asexual people who still experience romantic attraction and vice versa. I know many married asexual people, and aromantic sexual people – I'm sure we all know someone who's not really into dating or relationships, but still loves sex! I know people in our community who are parents, grandparents, husbands, wives, young, old, Black, white – and they are proud of who they are.

The problem is, those stereotypes and toxic misconceptions I heard as a 15-year-old from my classmates at school? I still hear them today. We live in a society obsessed with relationships; where to love and be loved by another person is not only the ultimate aspiration, but the expectation.

Until asexuality becomes part of public discourse and representation, we will continue to be misunderstood, told that there's something wrong with us, overlooked in education and legislation, and medicalised (and medicated). Women like me will continue to be dismissed as unlovable, ugly, frigid and boring. This is especially true for Black women, who are so hypersexualised, that to be a Black asexual woman seems entirely contradictory to people.

But I live a perfectly happy and fulfilled life as a Black asexual, aromantic woman. I don't need a partner to complete me – I'm complete just the way I am. That's why I use my platform to fight against asexuality stigma, dispel myths and help empower the ace community.

For allies, as always, the first step to show your support is by educating yourself, and to start normalising asexuality by including it in your conversations. That way, conversations around sexuality will inevitably become more inclusive and comfortable for the ace community. Asexual people will – finally – begin to feel seen.

We deserve to be seen.

Yasmin is the co-founder of International Asexuality Day, taking place this year on 6th April. Found out more internationalasexualityday.org.

Follow Yasmin on Instagram and Twitter.

https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/asexuality-and-aromanticism

[petri808]

The Perfect Pair

@twinstarsweek​ Angel/Demon prompt. Slight Cloak & Dagger reference

Was it weird that a demon could get bored doing demon things? Katsuki didn’t really care that the other demons teased him, frankly he didn’t give two fucks about what anyone else thought. He loved causing some havoc and sure killing despicable humans that deserved to die was like sport. And why not, hastening murderers, rapists, the pure dregs of human existence onto a fast track train to perdition gave him a real buzz. But that didn’t mean he was like the others who enjoyed the ruthless killing of anyone good or bad.

There were a few ways to get out of their realm which were like jobs if you will. To be summoned by a human… he hated this. You could break the rules and leave without a job, but the hell hounds would be sent to drag you back… and they never failed. A higher-ranking demon could assign you a job, such as unleashing a plague or to collect a human that is deemed too inherently evil to live any longer. And the final option is to be hired directly by an angel. Even though this was necessary to maintain the balance, many demons only took this option when no other work was available.

Call him crazy, but Katsuki was tired of being under the leader’s thumb and desperate for a change.

So, one day as he peruses the job board, he notices a new posting that sticks out like a sore thumb from the rest. The pearly white piece of paper with filigree gold corners signaled its source— An angel. His blood red eyes narrow in on the description:

Kind of vague but intriguing, especially the permanent part. Did it mean if he did a good job, it might keep him out of Tartarus for a long period of time because that was certainly enticing? Katsuki rips the paper off the board. ‘Contact Izuku, huh?’ He grins. Time to find out just who this angel was.

Human’s only had a measly understanding of what lay beyond their corporeal world and none of the supernatural creatures bothered to correct their misunderstandings. Creatures existed for different purposes. Aside from angels and demons, there were elementals, lost spirits, and a multitude of what the humans called gods. Each of these had their own realms where they dwelled like layers stacked upon one another, yet invisible to the corporeal world.

For demons it was Tartarus, angels inhabit Sion, and the other realms lay in-between. But the purpose of angels and demons are closer to the Chinese belief of yin and yang, to keep a balance in the corporeal world. The animals are easy to deal with for those creatures followed the basal instincts of life and death. Humans on the other hand were an offshoot of evolution that has become a bit problematic. In the beginning they followed the rules but over thousands of generations, has forgotten how to maintain a balance with the world around them.

Because of their loss of direction, angels were tasked with coaxing humans back in line. Those that refused are the ones the demons stepped in to deal with. A job was simple enough as long as they worked together… and there in lies the problem. It was rare for an angel and demon to get along for more than a job or two. Eventually their opposing natures caused friction. Katsuki knew that but figured what the hell, it was worth a shot.

He follows the directions on the flyer and finds Izuku at a small cottage in Sion. Their realms were so different from each other’s. Tartarus felt despairing, shadowed, and their homes bitterly heated. But Sion was full of blinding hope, and the homes looked warm and inviting. Even as a demon Katsuki had to admit it was a lot nicer to be there instead of his own home.

It was strange as he stood on the angel’s doorstep. There was a peculiar comfort washing over him that he’s never experienced before. Katsuki shakes his head to push away the weird sensations, chalking it up to the realm’s positive energy. He knocks at the door and stands back, not knowing what to expect.

When the door opens, out pops a smaller green-eyed male with the biggest smile plastered on his face. So, this is what an angel looked like? His skin was a touch luminescent, yet Katsuki could see freckles on the guys cherubic face. He wore all white, ‘no wonder the humans depicted angels in white,’ had tiny horns peeking out from messy green hair, and a pair of fluffy white feathery wings folded neatly behind his back. All in all, the guy was kind of cute.  

“Hi! How can I help you mister demon?”

Katsuki holds up the flyer, “you looking for a partner?”

“Oh yes!” the angel opens his door all the way, “please come in.” He gestures towards a living area, “have a seat. Are you thirsty?”

“Nah, I’m fine, just wanna know what’re you looking for. And by the way, the names Katsuki.”

Izuku takes a seat opposite the demon. “It’s nice to meet you Katsuki,” he smiles and takes a moment to scan over the demon. He’s seen a couple of them before, but it was the first time being up close. He notes the deep red eyes and the scowl that gave the man a scary disposition. Dressed mostly in black and reds, he had pointy horns that rose a few inches out of the dirty blonde hair, and a pair of leathery wings. Wow, these demons really were their opposites in many ways.

Satisfied, Izuku sits forward with his hands clasped in his lap. “Well, one of the things I do is look for people who still have good in their hearts but have gone astray and need help getting back in balance. Some are easy to work with, but others are so lost and broken, it takes a stronger push. So that’s where you come in.”

“To do what exactly?”

“Well, I guess you could say, some humans need to be scared or shown their fears in order to recognize them. That’s what you’ll help me with, then I step in to show them there is hope so they can change for the better. Basically, you’ll help me bring the human back into balance.”

It all sounded easy enough. Maybe not a lot of fun, but perhaps if the human decides to get physical, he’ll get to do some pushing back. Katsuki sits back and tilts his head slightly. “Alright, I’m game. When do we start?”

By the end of the second job, Katsuki had to admit this gig was a lot easier than he’d expected it to be. The other demons made working with angels seem like a real nightmare but Izuku was a total push over. Sometimes the guy was too damn tooth-rottingly sweet.

All the angel wanted to do was save humans from themselves and would pick some rather tough cases. He’s seen others go after little guys, such as drug users that had simply lost their way, but Izuku went for the top, targeting ruthless gang leaders or corrupt politicians. It was amusing at first that this mouse of a creature took such a route. Not that Katsuki was complaining, because scaring guys like those were a lot more fun than the weaklings.

Don’t get him wrong, Katsuki wasn’t doing this because he cared about the humans, that’s the angels forte. It was a job, he was out of Tartarus, and enjoying this new endeavor. In fact, between missions, he chose not to return to his realm. Izuku didn’t mind him crashing at his home, so he took up the offer. Sion was nice and cushiony compared to his own abode.

“So, who’s next on the agenda?” the demon kicks up his feet against the table and sits back relaxed on his chair. The pair were sitting at the angels dining table going over the next mission.

“Hmm,” Izuku closes his eyes, searching the human realm with his mind. “I see a wife abuser or a corrupt businessman.”  

Katsuki swiftly drops his legs and sit forward in his seat. He grins, “let’s get the abuser, those bastards deserve to have the tables turned on them.”

“I agree,” the angel smiles. “There’s no excuse for such behavior.”

“Perfect! I hope he gives us lip cause I’ll really make him shit his pants.”

Izuku was starting to get used to this demon’s rough personality and penchant for swear words. It was very different for an angel made of light, so he preferred to think of Katsuki’s darkness as just a way to peer into these sinner’s souls. Every human is born balanced, but as they grow are filled with both hope and despair for each challenge is an opportunity to gain strength. Some humans rise to the light and overcome, while unfortunately some give in to the darkness and are consumed.

There were legends of angels and demons who combined to affect the greatest changes in the human’s history. Divine pairings they were called, beings that not only worked together to bring balance, but were themselves the epitome of the balance in this world. And ever since Katsuki had arrived, Izuku felt an unusual connection with him. Of course, those stories were called legends for a reason because no one in this current lifetime had ever seen this special pair. But that didn’t mean the what ifs never crossed his mind.

Now some may wonder how an angel or demon could move about amongst humans and not be caught for what they were. There are human sensitives that could ‘see’ their true energy, but to the average person they appeared to be no different than any other human. It was a glamour that hid their otherworldly features, horns, wings, or their unnatural skin glow and shadows, turned off and on when the angel or demon saw fit.

Izuku’s human facade resembled a stereotypical nerd minus the glasses. Mousey messy green hair, freckled cherubic face plastered with a never-ending smile; he was too adorable to be walking around in a dilapidated ghetto type area.

“You know if I wasn’t here, someone might make you their bitch,” Katsuki teases the angel.

“I— don’t understand what that means.”

When Katsuki turns to look at his partner, his face heats up at the sheer innocence Izuku exuded. ‘Shit… c-cute...’ He clears his throat and looks away again. “It means you’d get kidnapped.”

“Oh!” the angel smiles. “That’s why I needed your help.”

Katsuki on the other hand fit perfectly in these areas. A piercing red gaze and scowl matched against his dark clothing choice caused most humans to give them a wide berth when walking on the sidewalk. He imagined passerby’s saw the pair as an odd couple because that’s exactly what they looked like. But odd or not, they worked well together, and he was starting to feel a bit protective over the angel.

He throws an arm around the smaller male’s shoulders, “stick with me and you’ll be fine mouse.”

The close contact triggers Izuku’s body temperature to rise a tad and he feels the heat surge into his cheeks. He couldn’t understand why this demon evoked unfamiliar emotions in him. Well, not exactly unfamiliar. As an angel, Izuku understood the positive emotions like love, friendship, caring, and all those that guided him. It was his affection for humans that drove him to do what he did, but he wasn’t supposed to feel these same sentiments for a demon. “Thanks,” he sputters out.

A few more months pass by as the pair racks up successful mission after mission. So far, only on two occasions did Katsuki resort to turning off his glamour in order to truly scare an individual because Izuku requested it be their last resort. It made the demon laugh when one of the men actually pissed their pants in fear. Well, they should have just listened to reason as far as he was concerned.

They would scout out their targets and figure out the best timing to approach to avoid a worst-case scenario. Izuku was meticulous at planning and that was the only thing that could drive the demon crazy. But it worked so far. Katsuki believed that angels and demons were not as immortal as the legends make them out to be. When they were in their human-glamour state, it also meant they were vulnerable. If it were just him maybe it wouldn’t bother him to push his luck, but his desire to protect this angel was over-riding his natural instincts. He didn’t want to risk Izuku getting killed.

Ugh, this was all making him soft, and yet Katsuki was too attached by this point. An unspoken connection had taken hold, so deeply in fact that the demon and angel shared a bed now. If Izuku was out of his view for too long, he would grow agitated. The angel didn’t help by not forcing them to stay cordial and allowing this unnatural affection to take root.

“We gotta go, we gotta go!” Izuku rushes into the living room one day in a panic. “Our target just acquired another batch of kidnapped girls!”

The demon gets off his chair just as the angel gets to him. Katsuki grabs his flailing arms to calm the panicking man and pulls the man tightly against his chest so he can’t pull away. “Whoa, whoa, calm down mouse! We haven’t worked out how many goons this guy has got working for him yet. We could be walking into a big shit storm!”

“But the girls!”

“I am not gonna let you do something stupid or get killed. Period. End of discussion!”

“Kacchan, we can do this!” Izuku’s eyes water and his lips turn down in a pout. “Together I know we can deal with whatever happens.”

A deep growl emanates from the demon’s throat halting the angels fight, “what part of I can’t risk losing you don’t you understand?! If 50 humans jump us, I might not be able to protect you.”

“I wouldn’t want to lose you either,” Izuku whines as the tears trickle down his cheeks. He believed with his entire soul in them. “I just know in my heart we’ll be fine.”

Suddenly, a bright light envelopes the pair, catching them completely off guard. Katsuki releases the angel in a panic that something just went wrong. Did they break a rule? Shit! It’s because he was getting attached wasn’t it? He shouldn’t be so damn attached to an angel, but he couldn’t help himself! “Shit! Shit! Shit! What the fuck!”

But Izuku stays calm. There was no pain, no sense of foreboding, or any inclinations what was happening was a bad thing. He looks over his glowing arms and realizes they were both glowing white. “Kacchan calm down.” It was his turn to grab onto the other. “Kacchan its gonna be okay.”

“Are we in trouble?!”

The angel could see the sheer panic in the red glowing eyes. Was this demon feeling true fear for the first time? But fear of what? “I don’t think so. I mean, it doesn’t feel like we are.” He pulls Katsuki into a hug. “Don’t be scared Kacchan, I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“But why the fuck are we glowing?!”

“I-I think it’s because we just became a divine pair.”

“A what?”

[claudiafekete]

This is another ordinary story of “how xxx fandoms changed my life” -

- or maybe not. you decide. I want to write it down.  trigger warning for politics, discussion of sexual violence, mild gender dysphoria It’s also horribly long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

When I first came to tumblr, I had just graduated from APH. Short for Axis Power Hetalia. I learned about it in the form of manga. For years it was my everything - I learned what fanfic or fanart meant and I learned the basic online etiquette. As I grew in years, it accompanied me.

Until it didn’t.

Shortly after I fell into solangelo.

It’s a fun story, how I picked up PJO years after years of absence. My brother was whining about something written in Magnus Chase. “What do you think the Norse Gods were going to do to Percy that Annabeth was crying?” He demanded. I expressed my confusion. He kept on with his different theories and I made the decision to look it up online later.

My online search of Percy Jackson’s fate soon revealed something unknown to me before: solangelo. The first canon gay ship I ever knew. Therefore, at the ripe old age of 19, I threw myself into this endless hole called “tumblr” for the first time.

It was the most LGBTQ+ friendly place I had ever been. I joke you not. It was also the place where I was taught not only how a healthy relationship should look like, but also how sex should or could be like.  You don’t learn anything healthy about sex in Chinese or Mandarin using fandom, at least during the years I was in them. There were rigid 攻/受(roughly translated as top/bottom) stereotypes that everyone rushed to squeezed their characters into them. A lot of time though both person might ship A with B, they wouldn’t interact because one thought A should top and another thought B should top. Their different topping designation resulted in depictions of the characters’ personalities so dramatically differed that you couldn’t recognize them as the same characters.  Other than the refreshing relationship dynamics, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard offered me a chance to take a look at my gender identity. I had known that theoretically non-binary people existed outside of binary gender, but I hadn’t known how one might live as one or describe themselves as one. I’m not trying to claim that Alex Fierro’s story is the only story of non-binary people. I’m trying to say that it was the starting point for me to make exploration and find the label  “agender” for myself.

I stayed in APH for 6 years. I had expected to stay in solangelo for longer.

Entered June 2019 with its whispers and anxious demonstrations. Entered folks pouring into streets in Hong Kong. Entered tear gas and facemasks and sticks and a bullet scarcely missing the heart and journalists beaten by police. Entered young students not of age disappearing mysteriously. Entered people dressed in white attacking citizens and not arrested by police. Entered dead bodies that were probably “被自殺 (being suicided)”.

Entered a city falling into the hands of tyrants next to your door, and you didn’t know how to help. You didn’t know what to do with yourself with your clean and spare hands. You were so far away from the frontline, you were angry and helpless and hopeless for that.

It was the first time I witnessed, first-hand, how the Chinese government directed the discussion online, so that it seemed as if there were random mobs who were disturbing the peace of Hong Kong and possibly taking money or being trained by US.  “Bullshit. Would there still be so many kids hurt on street if we have received any kinds of training for this?“  Of course, the majority of Chinese people inland wouldn’t hear that. Hong Kong is a former colony. Any calls of outrage toward the present government must be made by disillusioned young people who were unaware of colonization and imperialism. 

That was why I took refugee in Good Omens. I needed to run some where to stop myself from scratching myself to blood. I needed to some works for these clean and spare hands to do so that they wouldn’t pick up something destructive, such as a knife.

If the PJOverse fandom had felt the best place on earth, well, the Good Omens fandom lifted me into paradise. 

I’ve never seen so much kindness being showed under one tag. The creators and actors were all kind and interacted with the fans in their own ways. We were encouraged to do everything, anything, to build art with it however we liked. We as fans were recognized. We were seen. We were ... cared for. It was overwhelming, in a good way.  For that, I would be forever thankful to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and Michael Sheen and so many others in the production. I would be forever thankful to artists who liberated body types and freed the ties between gender expression and genitals. I would be forever thankful for the fantastic creators out there.

Would it seem as if I’ve only cherished the mutuals I met in Good Omens fandom? It wasn’t my intention. There are friends I keep in touch long after I fell out of love with APH. There are mutuals I got to know through solangelo and I feel, I hope that we are friends. Everyone who has chat with me I do my best to remember. (Though I do left conversation in weird places, become so ashamed of my incompetency that I do not continue them.)

What I’m trying to say is, as good as the solangelo fandom was, I still ran into biphobic posts here and there. It was only once or twice – but it was a constant reminder that being bisexual didn’t seem “valid” to some of the other LGBTQ+ members out there. Who cares what cis-gendered, heteronormative people said? Bullets that shot from friendly fire hurt the worst.

Besides, with a large and vibrant fandom like Good Omens, it’s easier to feel less alone and more… seen.

Damn right. Even after writing more that 5000 words in English it is still so easy to fall back into the comfortable nest of mother tongue. I can read simplified Chinese characters as well as the traditional Chinese characters I grow up using. There probably will never be getting the accent right but soundlessly devouring words in front of a screen? I excel at that.

That was what’s happening when the days rolled into January, 2020. I flew to US as an exchange student and exchanged long letters with a young Chinese woman I met in Good Omens fandom. I’ve never felt so alone in life. English as in creative writing has never come more naturally for me. The words burst in my head and arranged themselves freely on screen or on papers. I’ve never felt more hopeful about my writing ability.

The days rolled into March, 2020.

The first time my mom told me to come home over home, I laughed. The second time, I frowned. Before she pleaded me for the third time, I had grabbed a ticket.

I hadn’t imagined the disease plaguing China and its neighboring countries would affect the whole world.

You lived the rest of the story. I fled back to Taiwan.

 That was where Doctor Who came in. Or David Tennant. Such a strange time. For fourteen days I was the only living human in the house. I watched Casanova – or was it later? Hamlet definitely came before that. Then I could live with my family again. I handed in my homework and wrote in a different language than the people around me were speaking. My parents were working. My little brother was in school. When there was no one to talk to me I either read or watch Doctor Who to pass the time. I fell for Thirteen. I fell for twissy. Falling fast and hard and completely won over by their glamour.

I started internship. There were some small breaks where I could catch an episode or half, but never as much time as before. I dipped into fandom wiki and found that no matter how much research I did, there would always be details I overlooked simply because I could not afford hours watching all the episodes. No matter how hard I squeezed my schedule for time, no matter how much I devoted myself to the series, it would never be enough.

So I gave up, and let it go. For the first time in quite a while, I willingly gave up something for the simple reason of “I want to live a more comfortable life”.

 Came summer. Damp air combined with biting heat and piles after piles of biochemical terms made life agonizing. An ordinary kind of pre-pandemic “agonizing” which felt like a luxury in a world that was ending.

Hong Kong fell.

It was bound to happen. Once I heard protestors fought their way into the legislature I knew, for almost an year I knew, nothing good would come out of this. CCP would never allow its subjects acting out of hand. With such open despise to the authority, CCP would take nothing but a full conquest at the end of it.

See where we are now. As long as you’re “interfering” the political climate “inside” China, it doesn't matter which nationality you hold or where you were or how long it has been since you made the statement. “According to the law”, China can come for you. No, better, it can tell your country to hand you over. What a clever empire. What a graceful empire.

What a horrifying empire.

With the news I spiraled down fast. I kept away from the young Chinese woman I was exchanging letters with, I kept away from any kinds of Chinese social media, and the worst of all, I kept away from Good Omens, for it was sweet and kind and hopeful, for it reminded me of a time where fighting seemed to make a difference. I was empty and exhausted and a husk. Something must come out to fill the void. Someone needed to paint me in colors so that the world wouldn’t notice I was fading away.

I was surprised at who took the brush.

 After ten years, the first man I ever have a crush on strolled back into my life.

He was over thirty, but I always pictured him in his early twenties. Dark hair, eyes of grey or silvery blue. Loud laughter that sounded like a bark. Swift and elegant. Intelligent. Prideful. Stubborn. I embraced him as I’ve done ten years ago as a little child.

When I looked past him, I saw someone else.

Worn, weathered, with wry humor. Attentive and considerate. Tortured by the world yet never stop giving out kindness. Countless scars. Grey hair unfitting to his age. I didn’t pay him much attention ten years ago. This time, I looked.

Let me introduce you Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, my very first crush and the man who is too much like my last crush.

 2020, a month before Fall semester started, I trekked cautiously, timidly back into Harry Potter fandom.

The fandom of August 2020 was very different from fandom of 2010. The lack of author, for one – it became mandatory to denounce the author’s transphobic statement and other bigotry setting. I’m glad that everyone is doing their best to make it a friendly place for minority groups. Though I’m afraid, by making it a white or black situation with short statements and no discussion, it wouldn’t really help people understand why she is wrong in this. However irrefutable the author’s guilt seems to us, it is not something obvious to those who are unfamiliar with the subjects.

But it does feel good to see blogs and fics with the introduction such as “If you support the author’s transphobic bullshit this place does not welcome you”. It feels reliving.

The second was, I found the type of work I’m actively pursuing changed.

Back when I was young – when I was so little I didn’t even know what the word “fandom” meant – I read Character x OFC and some M x M. During the APH period I read an alarming amount of M x M and countless historical AU. When digging through solangelo, beside the canon divergence stories, simple AU like coffee shop grabbed my attention. Coming out stories were my comforts. The best of Good Omens fics were either in canon verse discussing desires, bravery, humanity and mortality, or setting in an AU with the promise of sweet, fluffy endings. Doctor Who almost always focused on Time and Space. Love was twisted and so often tainted by anger. Monster and god were very alike.

I came a full circle back to the Marauder era, and found myself not looking for heroes, but for young fighters struggling desperately in a seemingly hopeless war. I looked for people who were frightened but never, never ever going down without a fight.

I used to find characters and events unfolding in foreign places, now I want  characters who are close to what I am or what I want to be.

---

So, that’s it, my grand journey through multiple fandoms and basically a journey of self-discovery. It’s messy, sometimes painful, but always with so much joy blooming along the way.

Something doesn’t change. I’m still obsessed with words. I’m still a sucker for happy ending. I’m still wishing someone will come and love me the way I need to be loved.

Something does. I stop imagining that some magical power will come into my life and solve everything. I stop looking for others to save me from myself. I start believing that though wounds hurt, some of them do teach us to be a better person.

Long ago, I saw my friends and I as rabbits, without proper weapons to defend ourselves. That wouldn’t do. I thought. For my friends I’ll grow into a snake with fangs to protect them. Maybe I have grown into a snake. Maybe I haven’t. But I do hope I won’t stop fighting for those I love, with those I love.

I hope I won’t give up.

[illegiblewords]

Notes under the cut!

Having made a lady WoL collection, I decided to do a dude one too. As before I have more, but not all are leveled and I have some I’m more attached to than others.

I do want to push for more range honestly--I’m not sure how I wound up with three midlander dudes and a highlander lol. I should really follow through with a male au ra, hrothgar, and lalafell. I did an odd green/brown hair hybrid that I suppose could qualify for brunette, but otherwise my tendencies toward black and blonde hair came through real strong. Mysteriously absent are redheads. I may also want to experiment more with color palettes and cultural influences a bit.

For the guys, there are spots where I played into job expectations and spots where I defied them. I wanted to try designing some characters in ways I hadn’t seen so much in-game, as well as designing characters who would immediately evoke a specific tone! There are also definitely jobs where I deliberately tried to show some traditional masculinity where it’s less expected, which was fun.

Cenric/Black Mage Midlander: People have criticized hyurs before by calling them “too vanilla”, since they’re the human stand-ins. I figure though, they’re hyurs. Hyurs are imaginary and don’t need to follow real world biology. Play with color palettes and features so you get a more definite fantasy look if you want to. With Cenric, I specifically tried to go super dark and de-saturated to evoke a walking silhouette (sort of like drow) and gave him the palest eyes possible with strategic face paint so they’d look like they glow. This was all in the name of making a character who evoked Final Fantasy’s classic black mage, just going in a more adult and extra spooky-goth direction.

Maerec/Dark Knight Midlander: Maerec, I designed specifically to both be a step off of the default midlander from commercials and to embody the Dark Knight questline as best I could. Giving him some edge visually while still feeling reasonably natural was fun to balance! To this end, I knew dark eyes would be important to helping the black hair fit in. Going with a very dark red I figure it almost seems like he could have brown eyes until you look closely. Making him feel very Ishgardian was also fun, with the horned helmet and Fray-esque glamour. I also designed him to both parallel and contrast with Lahabrea given their stories are intertwined. If there’s scattered angel/demon imagery between them that works even more.

Sublime Tiger/Samurai Hellsguard: I know that my natural inclinations go toward bishonens lmao, so figuring out the angle I wanted to work with the SUPER BEEFY male roegadyns was wild! One thing that gave me inspiration at the time was realizing that, with their black noses, Hellsguard roegadyns can 100% evoke big cats--among other animals. I usually prefer designing Sea Wolves for lacking the black noses because my impulse is for it either to be visually unified with the rest of the face/body or go without--so I often feel a bit more limited with what kind of designs I’ll do for Hellsguard. With Sublime Tiger, originally he had both orange and black striped hair (one of the styles available works it) as well as the black face paint evoking tiger stripes. I found the hair more limiting with helms though so made it pure black instead. Deciding what glamour would look good and play well with proportions was also a process--wanted him to feel like he’s from Othard since there is a big Hellsguard population there, so samurai made some sense to me in building that. After experimenting though, I wound up going with a look that took a bit of inspiration from One Thousand And One Nights. I have additional ideas for what I might try going forward though.

J’mor/Red Mage Miqo’te: This was a combination of a lot of ideas! One was wanting to embrace the physicality of red mage as a job, and explore it as a worldly kind of caster who works well with ease of movement and does a lot of darting around the battlefield. Mages in-general are often seen as kind of ivory tower sorts, and by shedding the usual frills I wanted to show that it’s possible to have a caster’s knowledge while being very connected to the world at large. Also give a strong sense of SWASHBUCKLER where the magic kind of slaps you in the face with additional power. I also noticed I hadn’t seen as many black male miqo’te in-general, along with fandom stereotypes about catboys as soft. So I decided to design J’mor with that in mind--playing him as a very shonen kind of hero while the beard brings an extra bit of hardness to his features.

Asah’zi/White Mage Miqo’te: Asah’zi is another case where I wanted to challenge the idea of male miqo’te as soft, and I added to that challenge by making him a white mage when that is often filled by lady characters. I was also interested, lore-wise, in the tension between Keeper of the Moon tribes and Gridania (where white magic has very strong ties). That Keepers of the Moon are also very matriarchal gave added interest for me making a more rough and traditionally masculine-feeling white mage sort, especially since Keepers often build a lot of their lives around hunting through the Twelveswood. I also wanted to bring some sense of druid into white mage as a job, given the nature ties. With Asah’zi, using skydruid skins, claws, a wooden cane, and on all contributed toward the vibe I wanted to build for him. Using emotes that show off his fangs helps bring a bit of cockiness to him too, which is fun. And stealing Thancred’s hair lets him have a bit of a roguish vibe lol.

Amir/Dancer Highlander: Like I said, I tend to go for bishonen-sorts in designs a lot. HOWEVER! I do love this highlander face type specifically a ton, and think guy highlander proportions are well-balanced overall while being beefy. I knew for a while that I had a specific design I liked a lot for male highlander with Amir, and I definitely wanted to do something with him. The choice to make him a dancer specifically came from a conversation I saw just after the job’s release. An IRL male hip hop dancer mentioned feeling a bit bummed out because a lot of the animations felt like they played more to softness/grace and traditional femininity, and he’d been hoping for the option of a little edge with battle dancing because that’s what he does. Some players said he should just play monk, others were kind of mean to him and acted like what he wanted was somehow shitty. I felt for the dude to be honest since he was coming from a place of feeling frustrated by stereotyping, so I decided to look at the animations and see how much they could be integrated into a design that felt more traditionally masculine. I saw a lot of bright greens (especially with the peacock feathers) so I tried to unify that with a green glamour. The mask reminds me of rave aesthetics a bit, and I’ve seen dudes wear shorts similar to the Nezha ones before. I’m a big fan of the idea that fashion can be a way to create what you want tonally, and I tried to explore that in this design.

Navarre/Paladin Midlander: At some point it hit me that I have been avoiding traditional knight-in-shining-armor looks like the plagues in my tanks lol. This made me think a fair bit. What struck me was that if the only thing a glamour has to say for itself is “this is a knight”, that doesn’t feel so interesting to me. If it’s supposed to be a knight in shining armor specifically though, bringing an almost angelic, elemental feeling to the look is something I’m 500% there for. And weirdly, people don’t seem to do this as much. I’m less used to paladins compared to dark knights, warriors, or even gunbreakers--and since paladins are so associated with that holy knight-vibe I figured it made sense to go that direction. While I was looking into glamours, one thing I found was that a lot of them dyed with unchanging patches of black, had edgy red woven in, or otherwise came across as having been designed with dark knight or warrior in-mind. I decided part of what I’d do in this instance was really make a Warrior of Light who immediately screamed “yes I am the Warrior of Light” when you looked at him, and took inspiration from Cecil Harvey from Final Fantasy IV toward that end too. Every piece in this glamour was carefully picked not just for whether it worked as a silhouette, but also how it would dye.

Cesaire/Dragoon Elezen: Cesaire has gone through a lot of design phases. Initially he was a red elezen, because it’s a direction I don’t see used a lot but has a very doable fantasy feel I think is fun. Then he was a champagne/cream color all over as inspired by a particular breed of horses. Now, having put a lot of thought in, he is deep gold with blue eyes. The underlying concept for him was that I wanted to make a golden dragoon who looks like he should be terribly heroic, but then in practice he’s a kind of blood knight WoL who is about as close to Zenos as a Warrior can get without going outright evil. I played into gold and more general adventuring gear for the reason that I think Cesaire has absolutely left Ishgard behind him, and strongly prefers to be someone defined by what they do rather than where they’re from. Given elezens’ wide shoulders I also had to think about what combinations would work for balancing proportions, and I wanted Cesaire to visually hold his own visual niche within my overall Famfrit lineup so a lot was chosen with that in mind.

[moodyvalentinestories]

Direction – Two | Hunt x HWU MC (Danielle)

Summary: Thomas and Danielle have a conversation. Nobody dies, surprisingly. There are tears, though.

Words: 1800+

Notes: Fair warning: I'm really embracing the Hollywood U level of insanity/ridiculousness for this fic. Because I'm living for all the over-the-top drama and stereotypical villains right about now and you'll just have to deal with it. We’re not her for logic, we’re here for entertainment, henny.

❥ Masterlist

Thomas had been surprised when the address Mr Blake had given him had turned out to be an apartment building in a not-so-glamourous part of town. Though Danielle had graduated not long ago, she wasn’t poor by any means. She’d accomplished much more than seemed possible during her time at Hollywood U; had been a part of – and even produced – multiple high-profile projects, and earned what Thomas assumed must have been a great sum of money, and yet… she lived here.

It wasn’t a terrible neighbourhood – rather close to the university and, consequently, not far from his own house – and the building looked clean and well taken care of. Still, Thomas would have expected… something flashier. Or at least something bigger.

His surprise was even bigger when Danielle let him into her apartment. It was a studio, and while not tiny, it certainly didn’t offer a lot of space. The furniture – and especially the kitchen area – looked somewhat out of place, being very clearly more expensive than someone who would normally live in such a space could ever afford.

But Thomas wasn’t here to judge her choice of home or her taste in interior decorating. So he took his eyes off the Permanent Wound poster above her desk and turned to her. “Why did you do it? Are you that desperate to work with me? Because—”

“You think I want to work with you?” she exclaimed, followed by a shrill laugh. “You’re insane. I’ve seen you work. You’re a right bastard of a director, and I’d take Phelps over you any day.”

That statement hurt his pride much more than he cared to admit. Phelps certainly was not a better director than he was! How dare she even insinuate that? “Then why aren’t you pestering him to come back to the film?”

“Because—” She took a deep breath and shook her head, seemingly changing her mind. “Would you like some tea?”

“No, I would like to know what the hell you aren’t telling me!”

She nodded. “Tea, then. Have a seat. I’ll be right back.”

Danielle walked over to the kitchen area. Thomas didn’t sit down but followed her instead. “Miss Allen, I do not have the time—”

“I lied to you, okay?” she said, sounding choked, and when she turned around Thomas could see the tears in her eyes. “I lied. There was no fight.”

“Then wh—”

“Sit. Please?”

And she looked so young then, so vulnerable, so much like the green freshman who had her first paycheck taken away by a soulless industry giant, that Thomas couldn’t help relenting. He nodded, told her, “Earl Grey, if you have any,” and made his way over to the couch. He watched her slowly compose herself as she prepared the tea, and by the time she walked over with two cups – one black and unsweetened, one with milk and sugar – she seemed to have calmed down. She set the milk-less tea on the coffee table and handed Thomas the other cup before sitting down on the chair across from him.

“Did I tell you how I take my tea?”

She shook her head. “Centaurus Lost. You’d have coffee in the early mornings, then switch to tea around noon.”

Thomas almost dropped his cup at that. Centaurus Lost. He’d nearly forgotten. “Are there pictures from the set, too?”

Danielle bit her lip, then nodded hesitantly. “Viktor doesn’t have them, though.”

“Do you have them?” he inquired.

She looked at the floor, then nodded again. “They’re safe, I promise. I never gave anything to him. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

Thomas took a sip of his tea, contemplating how to get any information out of her without making her cry again. Something was wrong, he could tell, and perhaps he had judged her prematurely. Perhaps she really wasn’t at fault. Perhaps he should withhold judgement until he heard what she had to say. If she had to say anything, that was.

“You said you lied,” he ventured.

She swallowed hard. “I did.”

“About Phelps?”

Danielle closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “He didn’t quit. He was fired.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever. Why—”

“It will in a moment,” she sighed. “They – or I suppose I should say Viktor – never actually wanted me in the film. He just wanted me to bring people in.”

Thomas groaned as the pieces began falling into place. “Because you have pull with all the people he doesn’t.”

She nodded sadly. “I got Zoe and Chris on board. Even managed to get Holly in to write the script. The only person he wanted that I couldn’t – wouldn’t – get him was…”

“Me,” he finished. “You never even came to ask me.”

“Because I knew you would say no,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, absolutely. But I would have also told you to stay away from Montmartre.”

Danielle raised an eyebrow. “Gee, thanks. You don’t think I realised at that point that I’ve made a mistake? But I’d already signed the contract.”

“Fair enough,” Thomas conceded. It wasn’t like he could tell her she could have come to him for help. “So, at some point, Phelps comes in.”

“Yes, because we did need a director, and he’s done good enough work for Viktor in the past. Not who he had wanted, but better than no one, I suppose.”

He didn’t ask why Montmartre would have wanted him. Or Holly Chang, or Chris Winters, or Zoe Rodriguez. It was quite obvious – a show of power. Now that the hierarchy of the Silver Circle had been destroyed, he could have it all. Thomas should have known that it wouldn’t be long until a new problem would emerge.

What he didn’t quite understand, however, was how Montmartre had come to be in possession of that photograph. And, most certainly, others as well. The most logical explanation would have been that Danielle had been blackmailed first. If her time at the university was any indication, there was plenty of blackmail material to be found about her. And though Thomas didn’t want to believe she would throw him under the bus like that—

“Oh, hell no,” she said, interrupting his train of thought. “I cannot believe you would even think that I could – do you really think so little of me?”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “What am I supposed to think? Clearly, he has something on you, and who could blame you—”

“Oh, fuck you, Thomas,” she snarled and got up from her chair, nearly knocking it over. She walked to her desk to retrieve something from her purse and returned with her wallet a few seconds later, slamming it on the coffee table. “His stupid niece found this.”

“Your wallet?” Thomas asked. Now he was really confused. What did her wallet have to do with any of this?

“Open it.”

“Why—”

“Just open it,” she snapped.

He picked up the small leather purse and unfolded it, only to see that picture from the Fairytale Kingdom Formal he’d been sent in the ID window. “So he had a picture of us dancing. He’s got to have more; he wouldn’t risk being reported over so little proof.”

She nodded. “Slide it out.”

Thomas did as she told him and nearly gasped when he saw the photo behind it. It was from the same night, only a few hours later, and it appeared that he was kissing her. “This never happened.”

“Yes, it did. You found me in the rain, after my fight with Bianca, and we danced, and—”

“I remember,” he interrupted her. Of course he did. That was not a night he would forget, though he did bury the memory all the way in the back of his mind. “But I never kissed you. I would never!”

Danielle took the wallet from his hands and looked at the photo for a while before saying, “No, but I would.”

“You didn’t. I think I would remember.”

She rolled her eyes. “And I’d think you’d remember that it was just your cheek – no matter what it looks like in the photo.”

He did remember that. He also remembered repeatedly touching his cheek on the way home and wondering why the hell he had allowed her to do that. He asked himself that same question now – but there was no use dwelling on it. “Does he have any more?”

“Some from Sundance. The one May Gordon’s published before. They’re not bad on their own, but…”

“Damn it, Danielle! You should have told me as soon as you knew he had them!”

“Told you what? That I’ve ruined your life? That I’m exactly as stupid as you always said I was? No thanks. It’s not like it would have changed anything.” She sniffed. “I’m sorry. I am. I wish I’d never kept those stupid pictures. I should have just burnt them or something.”

Thomas was not prepared for how much he disagreed with that notion. Though, logically, it would be better if those pictures didn’t exist, he didn’t want them to be gone. The Fairytale Kingdom Formal that particular year had been the only one he’d ever even remotely enjoyed. Still… “Why didn’t you? Why keep them in your wallet?”

Danielle smiled ruefully. “Because I’m sentimental. Why do you think I still live here?”

“Still? Is this…?”

She nodded. “The apartment I moved into when I decided to live off-campus. Yeah. I never could part with it. And it’s not like I need more space right now. I spend most of my time on set, anyway.”

“You’ll have to part with it someday. The building might be demolished, or even just sold.”

“Oh, it was sold. To me.”

Thomas blinked. “You bought this whole building because you wanted to keep your old apartment?”

“I told you I’m sentimental,” she shrugged. “Besides, it’s a gold mine. I mean, so close to campus? And not a complete dump? It’s perfect.”

They were quiet for a while, unsure what else there was to be said. Thomas knew he would have to comply with Viktor’s demands for the time being, and Danielle seemed incredibly reluctant to speak – likely for fear of upsetting him in any way. Eventually, he broke the silence.

“You said you had photos from the set of Centaurus Lost…”

She looked up at him wide-eyed. “I… I do. And… some others, too.”

“Can I see them?”

He wasn’t sure what drove him to ask. But, surely, it would be good to know what else could get out there… that was the only reason. He just wanted to know if there was anything else that could ever be used against him. Maybe he’d even make her destroy everything. He knew he wouldn’t, though. Because Thomas, too, had a sentimental side.

Tags: @lilyoffandoms​ @trappedinfandoms​ @flyawayboo​ @oneemofungirl​ @alleksa16​ @silversparrow02​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ @alj4890​ 

[imnotobsessedwithtv]

Catching up on SATC

I might be a decade too late for this and a decade too young for this (at least), but I’ve finally set my mind to it: Sex And The City. It was kind of a surprise for me, how good it turned out to be. The series, that is. The movies are... not that memorable.

But seeing as I was about 8 when the first season came out, it’s safe to say that I completely missed out on the  madness that lived amongst fans of the show. This wasn’t necessarily the case for ‘Friends’, that first aired when I was 3, but I guess Friends was... more kid friendly, to say the least. 

I’m really quite dissapointed about that, though. I wanted to have been in New York when the women of the show were. And I wanted to have experienced life, relationships and, well, sex when they were. And I almost forgot -  I wanted to drink Cosmo’s like they did. Alas, I was just a kid. Though, I’m really happy not to have to deal with answering machines anymore.

A lot of people have told me to watch the show, but I was never all that convinced. After watching the series, I have realized that I was thrown off by the movies. I had actually seen the movies (I’m not 100% sure if I had seen both, but I had definitely seen the second movie). I’m not the first person to say this but... the movies really don’t do the show justice.

But like a lot of other times, I finally found time in my schedule and I decided to check the show off my bucket list. I immediately liked it but at the same time, I have to admit, I wasn’t hooked on it. In the first season, SATC seemed a little too Rich White Women to me. Which is also the feeling I had with the movies. But perhaps for the movies, it was even more Spoiled Rich White Women. In the second movie, they were barely even in The City, go figure.

A lot had also to do with the character development that wasn’t yet, I guess, developped. But the stereotypes in the four main characters are never truly far gone, as they shouldn’t. They were written that way on purpose. That’s why after more than 20 years, girlfriends still like to discuss how their either Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda. Me? Well, at first I couldn’t relate to Miranda all that much. Then the character development came and I started to see past the cynical over-achiever. But something strange happened with Charlotte for me - the opposite happened for me. I liked Charlotte at first. I thought I WAS Charlotte.  Yeah, I don’t like her, except for when Charlotte finally speaks the truth about something.

Much to my surprise, I do really like Samantha. Before the show, I thought I could never like her. I thought she was that character that made its appearance so that they could keep the “Sex” in their title. But Samantha is, as it turns out, not always all about sex. Okay, she is. But there are a couple of things that I really admire about her:

She’s always there for her girls. She knows that men will come (pun intended, of course) and go but her friends will always stay.

She’s brutally honest. She says it like it is. And you are NEVER going to get the feeling she’s f-ing with you.

She’s like some kind of magical predictor of the future: in season 2, Samantha explained this to Carrie: “It’s 2000! The new millennium won’t be about sexual labels, it’ll be about sexual expression. It won’t matter if you’re sleeping with men or with women, it’ll be about sleeping with individuals.” And she continued explaining: “Soon everybody will be pansexual, it won’t matter if you’re gay or straight”. Look it up, people.

She’s a fierce business woman. She’s got it all figured out, makes tons of money and is entirely and 100% independent and has always been.

Besides being honest, she also puts her money where her mouth is. When she fell for a woman, she went all in - sexually. When they were through, she was clear about the reason of the break-up: she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She’s always been open to all kinds of sex, but never to relationships (up until that point, I might add).

She has the most wonderful, amazing and funny af one-liners.

And then there’s Carrie. Carrie never really spoke to me, at all. I never really had actual feelings about her. Though I hated her and Big’s affair. I’m not sure why that happened in the first place. I’m not a Carrie/Big shipper or a Carrie/Aiden shipper, for a matter of fact. But affairs are horrible and Aiden didn’t deserve that. So I’m still a little angry with Carrie for that (and with Big as well). Besides that, I think Carrie overspends on shoes, as fabulous as they are.

That being said, the show is hilarious. It’s not a sitcom, it’s not non-stop, but the conversations these women are having are ones that are witty, smart and unpretentiously sharp.

However, the show also has various boring or cringe-worthy storylines. Such as... THE COMPLETE RUSSIAN GUY STORYLINE!!! OH MY GOD, that man is boring from start to finish. Much like Miranda, I was not supportive of her going to Paris with him. Also, why don’t you do the sensible thing and visit the city first before making snap judgements and moving across the world? Not to mention giving up your well earning writing job? (I assume it’s well earning considering her closet).

As Carrie would say: I couldn’t help but wonder... why the hell she started dating this guy in the first place...?

If that storyline was meant to be an anticlimax for what was going to happen with Big at the end... the writers deserve much, much praise. Then again, the writers are a-holes for putting that long storyline in, in the first place.

I would also like to give Carrie smoking an honorable mention as “cringe-worthy”. I’m sure it used to cool, but nowadays, it’s the reason why Sarah Jessica Parker has marionette lines in the second movie. (That was mean, I know, sorry SJP).

The MOST cringy-worthy is, without a doubt, the whole second movie.

Listen, here’s my take on the movies: (you thought you were almost done with this post, right? )

There were two storylines which felt a little unfinished to me. Of course, Carrie/Big. I understand the craving for that couple actually being a couple. Their ending in the series was very much a fairytale ending, but as we know, life is not and this show usually isn’t either. But the storyline of Charlotte felt a little unfinished either. Yes, she finally gets the good news that she’s going to be a mom, but I wanted to get more. I wanted to meet the girl and I wanted her and Harry to try and raise her.

Both storylines were completed in the first movie. And the audience - including me - was satisfied. But there’s a big catch: the other two ladies. Both Samantha and Miranda were in happy place at the end of the show.

In fact, I feel like they needed to create storylines out of thin air in the last few episodes for the both of them. Not including Samantha’s breast cancer storyline, that was amazing.

In the movie, however, friction had to be created for them so they forced this phony storyline on us where Miranda and Steve broke up because Steve cheated. Why would you do that to Steve, writers? He’s a really good guy and has always been a good guy. Why make him a cheater?

And I’m also a bit too much aware, yet again, that these ladies have too much time and money. While the show is typical HBO (real and honest), the movie is not. But that’s not entirely their fault. Movies are typically written for a different audience, therefore, are more glamourous and unrealistic.

After having seen the first movie, I watched the second one, reluctantly. I regret the descision. While the first movie barely had any storyline, the second one had none at all. It was all glamour, no actual feelings. I honestly thought I was watching a tourist commercial for Abu Dhabi, that is if you could look past the fact that Charlotte never had any reception with her phone (might be different by now, who knows, right?).

I would also like to add that it’s quite sad that Miranda and Charlotte only got to talk about their issues they have as mothers during cocktail hour at a foreign country. They’re supposed to be best friends and they both have small children. You’d think they would’ve discussed their struggles by now. In the world of SATC, they sure as hell discussed all other things.

 I’m sure that Kim & SJP will ever work their issues out - but please, please, don’t make another movie, guys. There is nothing left to tell.

We laughed and we cried, but now we’re done and we’re moving on. At least I am. Cheers!

[coolcattime]

Character Dossier: Katherine Delaney

Name: Katherine Delaney

Age: 24

Race: Half-elf (Eladrin/Human)

Class: College of Glamour Bard

Sexuality/Pronouns: Bisexual Polyamorous, She/Her

Short Bio:

Katherine is an anxious young adult half-elf with a love for performing, particularly dancing, but with a lack of confidence in her abilities. Though captivating on stage, with a great amount of talent and the ability to charm those who watch her, off-stage she is usually nervous and stressed. She carries an extreme amount of guilt, and could almost be mistaken for a completely different person if it weren’t for the eye-catching clothing she usually wears and the natural charisma she still holds.

When fully in her element, she makes large expressive movements that are expected of a performer. Most of the time, however, she attempts to make herself look small. Despite this, her movements still have a dance-like quality to them even at her least confident. Even movements that should seem hard to someone of her stature often look elegant due to her training in acrobatics having taught her how to make such tasks look fluid and impressive as long as she doesn’t overthink too much.

Physical Description:

Katherine is about the same height as the average human woman her age (a couple of inches taller than the average half-elf) and below-average weight, her thinness being especially clear due to her lack of muscle mass. Though most people write off her lighter weight as a side effect of her elven heritage, despite the idea of elves being extremely slender being a stereotype. In fact, the only true, easy to spot sign of her elven blood is her long, pointed ears.

Her bronzed skin is covered in freckles and she has a tattoo on the right side of her stomach, a large outline of a moth done in purple ink.

She has long brown hair that goes to halfway down her stomach, thick and wavy in texture. She usually wears it loose, making sure to take care of it but usually not styling it. However, when she performs, she will normally tie it back at least into a ponytail to keep it out of her face, putting it in more elaborate hairstyles for larger performances.

Her eyes are brown, and when she uses the magic contained in her necklace, they appear this way. However normally (without the necklace’s powers), they discoloured and pale, with glowing golden crack-like scars over them.

Outfits:

Katherine usually wears a dancer’s outfit made up of a crop top and shorts as a base layer, along with a secondary layer made up of see-through fabrics. The secondary layer has a skirt and material that she clips onto her top and ties around her wrists, being simply for fashion and effect while performing rather than to keep warm as sleeves would. Most of the outfit is different shades of yellow, though the skirt is purple. The material isn’t as expensive as an outfit she may wear to a social event, but it is made to be performed in, sparklingly when light is shined on it. Despite it’s intended usage, it is still suitable for travelling in. It is not her fanciest performance outfit, nor her outfit most suited for travelling, but it is one that she feels comfortable in.

She has a few accessories she will wear on a day to day basis. The first is a pair of golden earrings, shaped vaguely like moths. They are large and dangle, though they certainly aren’t the showiest pair of earrings Katherine owns or that she could afford. However, they are her favourite pair.

The second is a silver brooch with a hummingbird design etched into it. It was a gift from her brother, and she keeps it close despite the guilt she has associated with him. She will usually find somewhere to wear it, typically on her skirt though she will move it around to a position where it feels comfortable.

The last is a golden two-tier necklace, with the upper tier having a crescent moon charm and the lower having a hollow crystal filled with a blue liquid. The liquid within the crystal is magic, being a combination of water from an enchanted lake and her own blood. In this form, the liquid offers her the temporary ability to cover scars and restore her eyesight, with Katherine being blind without its aid.

Interests:

Katherine loves dancing, as well as playing instruments and singing, but her main focus for performing is dancing. She started performing quite young, long before she associated it magic or making money, though now she uses it as a means for both. She finds it brilliant and freeing, with it being one of the few things she feels confident doing. Though she has always loved dancing, she knows some of the other nobles (though luckily only those outside of her family) don’t approve and think she should focus on her instruments and singing, using her love for dancing as just another reason to see her as not belonging.

She also has an interest in learning about fae lore, though much of the information she finds is speculation at best and complete myth more often than not. This hasn’t stopped her from making some real progress, managing to learn Sylvan (the traditional language of the fae) and even some old fae songs, songs that she will sometimes perform, though only to the rare audiences she believes will actually listen. Such an interest has recently become even greater, as when her magic started linking to her performances, it also started linking to her feywild at the same time, granting her the abilities to enthral audiences and while making herself appear to have an otherworldly beauty.

Important Relationships:

Lord Robert Delaney. (He/Him)

A middle-aged human man, Robert is the current Lord of the Delaney Estate and Katherine’s adoptive father. He usually wears an old sailor’s coat that he earned back in his adventurer days, one of the few things he earned that he can show off on a day to day basis. He is a smart man who now spends much of his time on his noble duties and taking care of his family.

He adopted Katherine when she was four years old, her birth parents being some of his old adventuring companions. There have always been rumours this wasn’t true, that Katherine was actually his bastard child since the two look quite alike. Though there isn’t any truth to these rumours, he doesn’t have much of a way to disprove them so he simply does his best to assure Katherine that he wouldn’t lie to her and ignore those who believe he would.

He was the one who gave Katherine her necklace, having gone out of his way to research magic to help her. He was partially driven due to his and his wife’s belief that she wasn’t born blind. Though he hasn’t managed too much research into what may have happened to her, both due to not having a real starting point and guilt over what people he once called friends may have done to a child, to his daughter. He does his best to ignore the worse of these thoughts, hoping that whatever happened (if anything happened at all) was an accident.

Lady Anja Delaney. (She/Her)

A middle-aged human woman, Anja is the current Lady of the Delaney Estate, having married Robert shortly after the two stopped adventuring. She met him when the two were young adults, after he helped her family with a blight infestation. She ended up adventuring with him for a short while during which time, the two grew extremely close. She is a very compassionate woman, who wears glasses and has a nose to ear chain piercing.

She has always loved Katherine, even before they adopted her, having seen her any time Robert’s old adventuring companions had visited him. She would usually look after the young girl while her husband caught up with his old friends, letting her play with her and Robert’s son. It always sat wrong with her that Katherine was suddenly blind when they adopted her, but she also had little way to prove whatever had happened had been intentional or even recent.

She introduced Katherine to quite a few fae myths, which she found fascinating and started studying in her free time. She also encourages her daughter’s other hobbies, despite how she knew some of the other nobles looked down on her dancing (as they looked down on her in general for being adopted and therefore not of noble blood). But Anja does her best to encourage her, as performance seems to be the only time her daughter is happy and confident and seeing her riddled with anxieties hurts her, especially with how much worse her anxieties seem to have gotten over time.

Rupert Delaney. (He/Him)

A human three years older than Katherine, Rupert is her older brother and heir to the Delaney Estate. He is trained as a druid and has an affinity for hummingbirds. While he isn’t the most intelligent man, he cares a lot about his family and knows how to read people. He is particularly protective of his sister. He is quite attractive, being muscular, having the same bronzed skin tone as Katherine, with relatively long red hair. He has the habit of wearing shirts that show off his abs, though he seems slightly obvious to the fact that he does this. After the recent events (usually referred to as ‘the Dragon incident’ to avoid having to relive the details), he now has scarring across the right side of his face and is missing his right eye.

He has always been protective of his sister, wanting to help her through her anxieties in whatever way he can. While his ways of doing so aren’t always effective, he can usually tell when his sister is upset to at least try to help her. Even when she won’t tell him exactly what’s wrong, he does his best. When he started adventuring, he didn’t want to leave her behind but he did his best to visit often, to tell her about his travels and encourage her about her magic when she started showing the ability to cast. When she started getting ready to leave for her own adventures, he did his best to build her confidence.

He never expected her own adventuring to go so wrong, to have no idea of how to make her feel safe. “The Dragon incident.” It broke her confidence so quickly, and while she few physical wounds, she still hasn’t recovered mentally. Staying at home made her just feel worst, so she made plans to leave to do anything so long as it wasn’t staying still, though the idea of adventuring still turned her stomach. When he realised, she was on the verge of leaving, he gifted her the hummingbird brooch that he had made himself, hoping to reassure her that she isn’t to blame for what happened, and especially that he doesn’t see her at fault for his injuries. It didn’t stop her from leaving, but she keeps the brooch with her.

He has been dating another man his age, Andrew Ainsworth, for a short while now. Unlike Rupert, he isn’t an adventurer or a noble, being a cook in the city they both live in. He generally prefers keeping his head down however seeing his boyfriend’s excitement when he retells adventuring stories brings joy to his heart. Though, after recent events, he can’t help but feel some fears as he hears the murmurs of disapproval towards Rupert’s family as the public knows little about what happened other than the noble family suddenly starting to excuse themselves from public view.

Désirée Échemont. (She/Her)

A tiefling woman around Katherine’s age, Désirée is quiet tall and has purple ram horns. Her hair is shaved on one side and shoulder-length on the other, usually styled in such a way to compliment and work with her horns. She usually wears a tailcoat, one that is black and elegant. She lost one of her legs in the Dragon incident, and she now has a prosthetic leg modelled after a goat’s leg.

She is an assertive person, usually being ready to make plans or argue, whichever suits the situation more. Despite her sometimes abrasive personality, she is very calm with Katherine (and her friends in general) and knows good ways to calm her down. She knows when abrasiveness is needed and when she needs to be calm. That combined with her rogue training can make her a formidable opponent, though, she still has some time getting used to her prosthetic before adventuring is on the table again.

She regrets not managing to catch Katherine before she left as she did so quite suddenly. She understands her friend’s guilt and anxieties and just wishes she could’ve helped her. She hopes that once she feels comfortable leaving, she’ll be able to find her friend and give her the help she needs.

Jas’sino Valkalar. (He/Him)

A young adult high elf, Jas’sino was a cleric of Milil, a god of poetry and song. He had been adventuring with Katherine and Désirée before the Dragon incident led to his untimely death. He had blue skin and long hair that even when part of it was tied back, as it usually was, still dipped below his shoulders. He often wore loose purple clothing and multiple golden earrings, as well as his holy symbol of Milil.

He had often been loud, playing music, singing praises to Milil, or paying compliments to his adventuring companions. Whenever he could, he encouraged Katherine to play instruments more often, believing she should have confidence in her talent especially due to his belief (and Milil’s philosophy) that music should never be silence. He truly cared about his companions, staying loyal to them until the end.

Katherine still has festering guilt over his death, believing she could’ve stopped it if she had only made different choices. Since his passing, she had delved deep into performing as a way to remember him, as well as a way to cope with her guilt and anxieties. It became enough of a coping mechanism for her that her magic started linking to her music and performances, and Katherine became a glamour bard.

Misc.:

The Delaney Noble Family is well known for having made their fortune through adventuring. Due to this, one of their family traditions is to go adventuring once a child becomes an adult as a rite of passage. Katherine always felt quite anxious about the idea of doing so but decided against sharing her fears, believing she would disappoint her family if she didn’t follow tradition, especially as she already felt at times that she didn’t belong.

Katherine suffers from anxiety and an eating disorder. Very few people know about her troubles with eating due to it being so heavily linked with her anxieties.

Despite having her necklace, Katherine isn’t completely lost without it. She can read Braille, as well as find her way around her home, play some instruments, and do some dances without needing to see.

Before the Dragon incident (and Jas’sino’s death), Katherine was more of a general magic user without specialization. Since becoming a bard, she can no longer cast in the way she used to, now needing to use performance in order to cast.

[charmywrites]

Note: Disclaimer that I have no way of knowing what Jaehyun is truly like. This is all merely from an astrology perspective. I’m a nosey ass Scorpio dom who just likes to do an occasional analysis on idols. It’s fun. It passes time. I like to see what makes people tick.

For this reading, and likely in future ones, I’m only doing the ‘main’ planets. Aspects and houses will mentioned here and there, though not all.

To those more seasoned in astrology, please criticize me nicely if you see something you don’t agree with. This is a combination of what I’ve read and heard from astrologists. Also, be aware that many factors go into astrology. If you don’t identify with a certain aspect you have in this, it may have something to do with other aspects in your own chart.

Also, if there’s typos please forgive me. I read pretty fast, so I often miss them.

Sun in Aquarius

The Sun is your general self. It’s the top layer to many other layers. And, we all know people are like onions *insert Shrek joke*. The top layer can be strong or weak, depending on other elements of the chart. This is why people sometimes don’t identify with their sun signs.

The rebel of the zodiac. These people have to go against the grain. Whatever their society’s ideals are, these people likely think differently. It’s not ‘cool’ in their eyes to be like everyone else, to have what everyone else has. They want something else. They want something unique and strive to be unique. With that said, this quick analysis of an Aquarian does very little in analyzing Jaehyun; an idol with a boyfriend-like persona. In all my research of him, a question was burning in my mind that I found no answer to.

What is this man truly like?

The above can hardly apply to him, as his idol persona (which may or may not have traces of the real him) is highly played up. I’ve watched countless videos and read up on whatever I could find that might possibly give me some insight on his true self. A glimpse, a hint, but found very little to tell of. Some of the traits I did pick up on, however, are the telling Aquarian independence, aloofness, and quirky behavior. Jaehyun gives us almost nothing personal about him and his preferences, nothing that ventures outside of standard idol profile questions, and that’s probably the way he likes it.

He does indeed give off ‘air sign vibes’ with his flighty aura and general light-heartedness, but I also sense some earth qualities -- which I’ll elaborate on soon.

Aquarians like to remain vague. They’re the people who ask you question upon question about yourself, but give you nothing in return. They’re the people you might give 100% to, but only get around 30% back. They like to ghost you, to leave you wondering why they are the way they are. Don’t get me wrong, they are generally friendly and can truly care, but they have their own way of doing it. They don’t follow expectations and, thus, can be potentially hard to develop relationships with. They need a long leash, if any (preferably none). It’s not an intention to hurt anyone, they just find it hard to empathize with others. They’re very much in their own world. They’re also afraid to give too much of themselves, because they don’t want such information to be used against them. They’re afraid of being hurt by someone they showed too much to.

Moon in Taurus

While the Sun is your general self, the Moon is your emotions; your shadow self.

The Moon is your emotions and how you react to things.

Elaborating on what was said earlier, I sense a great deal of Taurus energy from Jaehyun off the bat. Taurus Moons like to chill. More than not, Jaehyun is simply chilling in the background, letting others take the lead. These people seem sophisticated and elegant, as well as stable and sensual. They’re lovers, they’re affectionate and physical. Jaehyun is very touchy at times, he seems to like a nice display of physical affection.

Taurus Moons are usually very emotionally stable, they can keep themselves in check. Especially with his Moon in the 2nd house; he’s not going to be as emotionally responsive as others. It’s hard to provoke a person like this, they’ll stay solid even in times of turbulence. This goes double for his Moon square Venus. These natives typically value peace and harmony socially. They want it so much that they might find themselves giving into arguments and what others want just to stay civil, even if they don’t agree. So, they hold their emotions inside and let them simmer. It takes a very long time to get to the boiling point.

Taurus is stubborn. Taurus Moon is stubborn. Aquarius Suns can be stubborn. Both are signs that are staunchly set in their ways. They’re not likely to change their beliefs, even when argued to death over them. This seems to go against what I’ve mentioned in the last paragraph, about giving into others, but a person like this might simply mentally check out of the argument or just lie. You can’t mold someone like this to be who you want them to be. Take them or leave them, they’re comfortable in their beliefs and being who they are.

Like their sun counterparts, Taurus Moon likes the finer things in life. They love great tasting food, they love luxury, they love the finer things in life and feel like they deserve it. A person like this might like to be a sugar baby, but something I’ve noticed is that Jaehyun doesn’t mind putting forth his own money to pay for his fellow members. This begs the questions; what is luxury to Jaehyun? Luxury can mean different things to different people, it doesn’t necessarily mean material luxury or monetary luxury. Whatever he considers luxury, his Taurus Moon wants to indulge in it.

In a partner, these people look for comfort. They like a homemaker, someone who’ll have dinner on the stove, clean the house, and to nurture him with heaps of physical affection. I’ve heard that Moon in Taurus can represent the wife, so that’s what they look for; the stereotypical wife. You better know how to cook. He might not trust those on the wilder side of life. Or, at least, won’t bring them home to mom.

Pisces Rising

Your rising is how you appear to the world.  It’s the first impression.

Admittedly, I don’t get a lot of water energy from Jaehyun. Still, I can see the glimpses of soft Pisces within him. It comes out whenever he wants to be seen as cute, whenever he sits back and mentally checks out (he seems very ‘dreamy’ in moments like these, sensitive and thoughtful). The keyword is ‘soft’, which is an energy that Jaehyun does exude at times. Pisces is stereotypically associated with softness and innocence.

Although I didn’t initially sense watery energy, my first thought after seeing Jaehyun was ‘he seems like a soft and sweet guy’. That was likely his Pisces rising. Those with Piscean influence likely appear more ‘sensitive’ and, yet again, soft.

Jaehyun’s willingness to be in background can be mentioned again here, Piscean Risings like to go with the flow. They’re fine in the background, letting others speak up, and retreating into their own minds. Pisces is associated with dreams and other realms, so these natives are usually in their thoughts. They need and attract/are attracted to people who can ground them and keep them in reality.

Mercury in Aquarius

Mercury is how you communicate. It’s your mouthpiece.

Something I can say about Jaehyun, based off what I’ve seen, is that he’s probably not very normal at all in private. At least, not fully. He’s downright goofy; saying lettuce is breathing, remarking on how someone could poke a hole in a paper window and look through, his sometimes overly exaggerated words and movements. Jaehyun doesn’t give us much to work on outside of his dorkish and shy boyfriend persona, but that alone is apparent. You can’t fake such randomness. Mercury Aquarians are far from boring and he’s a good example of that.

His Mercury is conjuct Venus and, when Venus is in aspect, harmony tends to be regarded highly. Once again, he likes to keep the peace. He’s agreeable and charming, finding it easy to get what he wants if he puts on some extra glamour. This could mellow out the aspect of Mercury Aquarians that become detached to people who don’t share their ideals. Keyword: Could. They’re so set in their ways, they may simply agree with you to your face while planning on ghosting you later.

For people with the above aspect, communication is extremely important when forming relationships. If there’s nothing to talk about or too much small talk about nothing, a native won’t feel like continuing to speak with the other person. The parties have to mesh, they have to engage and have good back and forths with each other.

Jaehyun has so many Mercury aspects and I don’t have the time or patience to elaborate on all of them.  One can only conclude that he’s a curious person and might have a lot to say. However, unfortunately for us curious folk, being an idol highly limits him and his opinions.

Venus in Aquarius

Venus is generally related to relationships, desires, romance, and love, it also alludes to our ‘type’.

From an Aquarius Sun with an Aquarius Venus and Mars in Libra, I’ve heard that remarks on their physical appearance alone is an immediate turn off. They find it disrespectful to their personality and highly objectifying. Remember, Aquarius is the rebel. Even if they meet society’s standard of beauty, they might not even care about it or share the thought. What is seen a lot in the fandom is that Jaehyun is narcissistic. While he does have those tendencies, that may not be what he wants to hear from a potential partner. If someone knows they’re the shit, they don’t need someone else to confirm what is known.

They need to be friends with the person they’re dating, or else the relationship might not last. These natives want their partner to like their personality and keep a little of that friendly detachment, even when they’re in a serious relationship. They don’t like too much intensity and emotion, feeling ‘trapped’ in the relationship and needed an out.

Piscean energy may mellow this aspect out, as Pisceans can love hard and intimately. Taurean energy can also help, as they like stability and being sure of your feelings for them. If these are lacking, an Aquarian Venus will need their partner to be somewhat detached as well. The bottom line? They need a friend who doubles as a lover and they need a lot of freedom. This isn’t a Venus sign you can just hit up for romantic and couple-y things without energizing communication to keep them invested.

Don’t expect these people to be with you 24/7 or want to move in together right away. They value their time alone and individuality. In all honesty, someone with great Aquarius energy is the most likely to not live with their spouse.

They’re also most likely to date someone extremely different from them just because it’s unique. If someone, even someone close, thinks they know what this Aquarian wants; the Aquarius will probably date the opposite of what they expect. With a Venus conjunct Saturn, not only do these people crave something unique, they want to experience it all. They like to be in various social groups and around different people. An aspect like this might delve in polyamory.

They appreciate a partner who gives them good banter. It’s a turn on to them. Although Jaehyun is physically affectionate himself, this aspect isn’t. They value talking more than doing. This aspect might get into an argument with their partner simply for the sole purpose of getting turned on and having make up sex later. Yeah, really.

With this aspect, one doesn’t have to be visually appealing. If they can appeal to a Venus Aquarian’s mind, then the Aquarian is already turned on.

If a Venus Aquarian doesn’t like you, then they probably won’t bother to lead you on. They’ll just stop talking to you all together. They don’t need love or need to be in a relationship, they’re fine on their own and having their freedom. They won’t entertain someone for the sake of an empty romance.

To those who value monogamy and intimacy, this can be a very hard person to create a future with -- which is why air signs get a terrible reputation. They just need their freedom to do their own thing, to be their own person. Couples are generally seen as a pair, combined at the hip per say; clinging to each as if for dear life. That is not what this person likely wants. They need to be an individual with their own space and their partner needs to be an individual with their own space. They cannot be one of two or even a half. They need to be one whole person, who belongs to themselves. If one feels like they might be too attached, even just a bit, they likely are to someone with this aspect. This type of person requires much (much) patience, but the reward is a fun and energetic partner that will make each day unique.

Mars in Libra

Mars is associated with physicality and sexuality, it’s our drive, passion, and anger.

Libra is a sign of balance, they want to give and get pleasure. They want to figure out what makes their partner tick and work off that. A relative of mine is a Mars in Libra and she’s very much concerned about her lover’s feelings in the bedroom. This isn’t usually a selfish lover. However, sometimes they get too worked up. Libra is prone to put on rose colored glasses and have certain ideals in their mind that may not happen in real life. Because of this, they find themselves disappointed when a moment isn’t as magical or romantic as they thought it would be. They get sad when their partner doesn’t react in the way they thought they would.

The stereotypical air sign flightiness isn’t as prevalent in this sign; generally regarded as the best air sign to have in Mars. They want to be loved, sex is so much better when they’re in love. I saw a post about how Jaehyun probably cries while masturbating. Yes, Mars in Libra may cry during sex -- for good and bad reasons. The good? They’re so in love and truly feel connected to their partner during sex. The bad? They don’t feel loved and are crying because everything feels one sided. The bottom line? Love matters to these people.

The real bad? They’re still somewhat flighty and are prone to cheat. Mars in Libra is extremely charming and expected to be aesthetically pleasing. A lot of people flock to them, so there are many options. They might expect the same attractiveness from their partners and have high expectations. Not necessarily the standard of beauty, but someone extremely beautiful in their eyes. Although, they’re still an air sign. If someone is gorgeous, but can’t communicate well with this native, they’re seen as a waste of time and likely won’t become anything serious.

Big on people pleasing; they don’t have many kinks but can adapt to their partner’s kinks in order to keep them happy. Their own kink, if any of note, may be role-playing. Otherwise, they’re into the cheesy romantic stuff. They love eye contact, hand holding, slow and sensual love-making. It’s not just sex when love is in the mix.

Libra loves relationships, they love helping people, they love opening their hearts and letting people in. If taken advantage of, or if even a friend is taken advantage of, a Libra Mars will become angered as they highly dislike kindness being taken for weakness. This being said, they may not be confrontational about negative feelings at any rate. They don’t like discourse, they like harmony. Though Mars is a physical sign, Libra Mars is probably not physical in anger but more so passive aggressive or gosspiy.

Despite the earlier mentioned about Venus in Aquarius, Mars in Libra can be quite the opposite. As Libra is the sign of partnerships and often indecisive, they need that second half to them for an extra push in life. As the scales in the zodiac, they want someone else to balance them out.

With Mars in the 7th, he maintains a certain level of dominance in relationships and even in work. He may be in the back chilling while other members speak, but when he’s not in his thoughts Jaehyun is often seen trying to gain the attention of cameras. Making faces, pointing the camera to himself while someone else is speaking, drumming obnoxiously loud. These are all attempts to command the attention back to himself, to be the dominant one in some way or another. When seeing him with other members, you don’t truly get the feeling that this relatively quiet guy is a follower. He might be an equal, but not totally a follower. Dominance comes naturally in relationships, he won’t be totally happy with a partner who wants to be the head of household themselves. That spot is reserved for him or, as his Libra influence would like, to share with his partner.

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Taylor!

You have been accepted for the role of non-biography character LYDIA AVERY with the faceclaim of Margot Robbie! We were excited to see your discussion of nice doesn’t always equal right and how Lydia’s motivations throughout her life stem from this constant need to be liked. We love a good underestimated character and we think Lydia will be able to help the Order immensely with her knowledge! So happy to have you apart of this roleplay!  

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Taylor

AGE: 28

TIMEZONE: EST, Toronto time

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I try to check the dash and discord every day, but I’m probably low to mid activity. I usually post one or two times during the week and then catch up on the weekends.

ANYTHING ELSE: I’m pretty good about all triggers, though I would appreciate a heads up with any suicide mentions. As long as it’s tagged or I’m prepared I’m good though!

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Lydia Augustine Avery

AGE: 25

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis Female, She/Her & Lesbian

That doesn’t mean she won’t flirt with a man to boost their ego. Men treat you so much nicer when they think you might sleep with them! Sometimes she wonders why that is, but then she remembers it’s probably one of the reasons she loves women so damn much.

Her sexuality was never exactly a secret, though it’s not something she flaunts in this day and age. Though as a teenager she had been a bit confused about her lack of interest in the men who thought she was so lovely. The hands she’d let grope her as a teenager, the cocks she’d found mediocre. She figured that her preference was as fluid as her personality; she wanted to be liked by everyone, and therefore she must like everyone, right? It took her a minute (she’s a bit slow in most things), but eventually she realized that she really only liked women. They’re truly lovely, aren’t they?

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood Half-blood.

Lydia’s mixed wix and muggle heritage means that she is not biologically related to the mother that raised her, Colette Avery, and is a half sister to Margaret. But while Lydia knew she was a bastard child, she didn’t realize she was a half-blood! Even Colette was unaware until recently that her husband was unfaithful with a dirty muggle of all things! Alphonse’s affair lasted more than a few weeks while travelling with a woman in France named Delphine Marchand. She worked in a bakery and loved to figure skate. Her pureblood father knows nothing of her muggle mother’s heritage, or much of her history in general - and when she finds out he gives Lydia next to nothing in terms of knowledge of her mother, in fear that Lydia would have the urge to venture into the muggle world he saved her from to find her.    

HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin

“What? A nice girl like you, you’re not from Slytherin!”

“Slytherins can be nice! I take offense to that, sir.” Lydia grins back, her face not showing an ounce of what she claimed - though she had a skill for always appearing unflustered and approachable. A thick skin was needed when you were kind to everyone, a strength that people often forgot. The man takes her charm as flirting, a common occurrence and leans against her desk.

“Really, I can’t name a single Slytherin I’ve known for being so sweet.”

“Well then you haven’t been hanging around the right people. Besides, now you know me!”

ANY CHANGES: Nope

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Without knowing Lydia you may assume she’s unapproachable. The perfect poise, plush pout, sacred name, and during school her emerald green banner colours, tend to give the stereotypical impression of a mean girl. But Lydia Avery is far from it.

One of Lydia’s key goals in life is to be liked, and in her experience growing up, the best way to be liked is to be kind. She genuinely enjoys making people happy, and through this has gained a warmth and a charm that disarms many. Not a stranger to compliments or generous acts, she’s the first to make a pot of tea for a group or start doing dishes as a guest.

Many have taken advantage of Lydia through the ages, as along with her kindness she has a dislike for confrontation and will rarely call someone out as being rude or manipulative. In her teenage years she was the seat warmer or the errand runner, and as a secretary for a powerful Ministry man she hasn’t really grown out of this just yet. There’s a meekness to her willingness to do someone else’s dirty work, and she’s easily talked into situations that she might not be if she had a stronger backbone.

Despite her lack of confrontational skills, she’s grown a thick skin. A bit of I’m rubber and you’re glue inner philosophy, she tends to take words as just words. With snarky comments given to her over the years from her “mother” Colette she has an inner belief that insulting people don’t actually dislike you and almost anyone can be won over. It’s naive, but it’s helped her stay relatively optimistic! While insults like Lydiot are demeaning and she definitely doesn’t like them, she’s a fantastic actress and it rarely shows on her face when she’s upset or thinking negative thoughts. Her self-consciousness is internal and there’s power in appearing unphased by cruelty (though some may think she’s just too dim to understand it was insulting in the first place - and to be frank, sometimes that is the case).

This ability to hold a facade is one of her greatest strengths. Lydia has been acting her entire life! A family secret since she was born, allowing Colette to bounce snarky underhanded comments at her with the appearance that she was unphased has set her up as unexpectedly valuable. She’s able to charm the right people, and quietly observe unnoticed. She’s able to keep a straight face with a creep’s hand on her knee, and recite lines without stumbling. Her charm, mixed with her attractiveness, work as a glamour and despite being someone in the room that almost everyone notices - most of the time she’s hidden in plain sight.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Alphonse Avery, Father - Shopkeep, A Very Spellbinding Book Shop

Alphonse Avery is a proud man. Not because of his riches, but because he’s built what he has from the ground up, no thanks to his drunken, gambling father. Raised in a wealthy home, he remembers what it was like to be waited on by house elves and invited to banquets, but also recalls losing it all during his days in Hogwarts. Sometimes he is even still bitter about it all, he often butts heads with his father whom he rarely speaks with anymore, and sometimes with his brother Albrecht who still puts Lydia’s grandfather in high regards. Though he isn’t a muggle sympathizer, Alphonse thinks there’s more than just pure blood that makes someone worth looking up too.

Colette Avery, Step-mother - Shopkeep , A Very Spellbinding Book Shop

Colette is not an unreasonable woman. Honorable even, raising the outcome of her husband’s affair. She loves her husband, but it wasn’t to say they always saw eye to eye. Their marriage was an arranged one, and therefore they don’t particularly show the chemistry expected of a loving partnership, but when it comes to supporting her family she’ll do what’s best for them. Even when Lydia is looking up at her with blue eyes that don’t match their own, a sharp reminder that at one point in her life she hadn’t been good enough. She’s curt with Lydia, and never shies away from constructive criticism or feels the need to sugarcoat. The fawning she does over Minnie is something Lydia has always longed for growing up and when she can please Colette it’s a good day.

Margaret “Minnie” Avery, Half Sister

Minnie has alway been the pet of the family. Colette’s true born daughter, the favourite, the rightful Avery. While this might make any other person resent their sister, Lydia adores her little sister. While others may call her mousey in her looks, she’s wickedly smart and can always make Lydia laugh with her slightly dark humour. She has the same eye for politics, but while Lydia had always been one for schmoozing, Minnie never bothered and instead has always had a sense of self worth that Lydia has been proud of her sister for.

Albrecht Avery, Uncle - Death Eater

Alphonse’s younger brother. A true believer in his father’s beliefs that everything bad that has ever happened to them is because of muggles or muggle borns, and doesn’t understand Alphonse’s lack of sympathy towards his father. It wasn’t a crime to gamble, after all! The mudblood that won their family fortune was a no good, rotten thief. He had to have cheated, after all. How else could he have won that game? No way he’d been more talented or intelligent then an Avery! While Albrecht and Alphonse don’t always see eye to eye, Lydia has known her Uncle Al her entire life. Loud, outgoing, demeaning, and cunningly cruel with underhanded compliments. Lydia and her sister have rarely felt comfortable around their uncle - who found the fact that his brother had daughters just another point to why he’d done better than him.

Arcturus Avery, Cousin - Presumed Death Eater

Arcturus and Lydia were always the closest in age. She’s always seen him as the closest thing to a brother she’s ever had, and when she finally reached the age to attend Hogwarts she’d been delighted that she’d made it into his house too! Her older cousin always had the confidence of his father, and as he aged, his bossiness grew more and more. He knew all of the tricks to get Lydia to do his bidding - though it didn’t take much really - and his treatment of her resembles gaslighting. Cute nicknames one moment, insults the next. Building her up just to knock her down. Leaving her out of the fun just to make her want to be included. As she’s aged she’s grown less comfortable with his values, but she doesn’t realize that Arcturus or his father are Death Eaters.

Delphine Marchant, Biological mother - Muggle

There’s not much to be said about Lydia’s birth mother. She doesn’t know anything really at all. The woman is a faceless entity, but Alphonse has been smitten in his short time trying to woo the french woman in the bakery, who always smelled of cinnamon. She doesn’t remember Alphonse, or even Lydia - for he’d done her a kindness and wiped her memory clean before stealing her child.

OCCUPATION:

Formerly a washed out actress, she now works in the Ministry as part of the Wizengamot Administrative Services as secretary for the honourable Wizengamot Judge Perryweather, a member of the High Court of Magic

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

It’s all so new and fresh, she’s barely a member - still in the affiliate stage. This is the closest Lydia has ever been to having a mind of her own and standing up for her beliefs. Honestly, this is the closest Lydia has had to realizing she truly has beliefs! It hasn’t fully clicked what exactly she’s doing and what sort of risk she’s taking. That being said, I think she’s going to be intoxicated by the sudden realization that she can make choices and have thoughts that don’t simply parrot what she thinks other people want to hear, and when that starts to unravel who knows what’s going to happen??  

That being said, it’s going to take something big for people to take Lydiot Avery seriously in The Order!

SURVIVAL:

Lydia is lucky enough to have a good family name and a Ministry job. Her heritage is a secret, and as Judge Pennyweather’s beloved secretary she’s practically invisible. She resides in a small studio flat in London, not far from the Ministry where she lives alone and sometimes

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m not exactly sure what people have in mind but here are a few possible ideas!

Maurice Creevey

A person who is practically the opposite of people-pleasing Lydia, it was Maurice’s pirated broadcasts that brought the fact that there was truly a rebellion fighting against everything that is happening without waiting for the slow-moving and corrupt bureaucracy. Lydia rarely says anything that might upset anyone, but when she meets the muggleborn who fights it all with words broadcasted out to the world she can’t help but like a moth to a flame. She could learn a lot, but it also might get her burned.

Branwen Yaxley

Branwen scares the shit out of Lydia. In your face, opinionated and bigotted, she’s not exactly Lydia’s cup of tea. Her worst fear is that Branwen (or anyone really) truly finds out about her muggle mother, but it doesn’t stop her from treating the woman with the same kindness and showers her with the same amount of compliments that everyone receives. Though Lydia’s sure that one of these days a comment on how lovely her hair looks today might end her up with a black eye.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS:

I don’t have any particular ships in mind, but I’m personally open to anything. Lydia is a sucker for attention, and takes any form of it as good. She wants to be liked by as many people as possible, which means she’s a bit of a pushover and can be easily taken advantage of. I’d love to see this either taken advantage of, or for once someone to stick up for her and show her that she’s worth more. Or both? Both is good! I’m down for it all. Unrequited love, heartbreak, fluff (though not too much fluff that’s boring!)

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Despite the new found information that Lydia is not actually a pureblood, she has lived her entire life with the privilege of being one. A strong family name means something in wizarding Britain and up until recently she could stay safely on the sidelines without worrying about who won the war. She’d still be safe and sound no matter what. But now her sense of self is dwindling even further, fragile as it already was with the title of bastard in her mother’s eyes, Lydia is now seeing the world as what it truly is - and realizing why her father had kept it such a secret for so long. Not even his family would really understand, would they?

And while Lydia is kind to everyone she meets, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s always understood her privilege and can be rather dim in the area of realizing how truly well-off she’s been all of these years. Her Slytherin school mates, mixed with her pureblood family, and her lack of heroic or confrontational nature means that up until now she’s never stood up for her beliefs - and she’s been in a place where she’s never had to really have them. It’s selfish, that she’s suddenly turning to the “good guys” as a mix of self-preservation and a realization that there are no innocent bystanders. This war affects everyone, and she had to be a sudden target to realize it.

Also, unrelated to blood, but Lydia has always had the privilege of being pretty. It’s vain, she knows, but as far as she is concerned listening to a pretty girl try and be humble about their looks makes you want to punch them in the nose - so she isn’t going to point at hidden pores or say she needs to lose weight when she knows she doesn’t. Lydia learned very early into puberty that there is a sort of power in being attractive. People like you more, it’s just a simple fact, and Lydia wants to be liked! And so she’s always used this key attribute to her advantage. Batting her eyelashes, sending a splendid smile, and maybe wearing a low cut top if she really wanted to distract you. It’s unfortunate, and she doesn’t believe she’s really more valuable than anyone else for it, but hey! If it works, it works.

And history told her, it usually did. Sometimes too well. Lydia’s keen ability to read a room and be able to charm people sometimes works a little too well, and men often can’t keep their eyes off of her assets. While she sometimes uses this to her advantage, it’s also fairly revolting that many men treat a woman more kindly if they’re attractive. They’re pigs. And while she doesn’t think all men are that way, she’s met enough to be wary of them until they prove their respectability!

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

The most job interview of job interview questions! I’m just looking forward to being in a group that I’ve been told is so creative, fun and accepting. I’ve heard nothing but good things for months but wanted to make sure I had an idea for a character that would give me the muse to do this place justice!

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

Lydia isn’t the type of person to see her value in a fight or organization like the Order’s, so I don’t see her as being a fully fledged member right away. Her just trying to reach out to someone being like “Hey, I know a thing! Maybe it will help!” is a big step for her, so I think it might be a gradual initiation that makes her a full member after a few intel drop offs.

That being said, I think once she’s done a few intel drop offs, Lydia gets hooked on being valuable and important and having morals and beliefs, and I would love for her to prove her worth or someone to challenge her place. Lydia is not someone you automatically see as valuable or a team member worth having so making her step out of her comfort zone and show her worth in a situation like that would be super fun! Risky initiation anyone??

ANYTHING ELSE? Nope!

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST:

Lydia Avery has almost always had a secret. From the day she was born, her secret had been kept; or as her father would put it, their family secret. You see, while her father Alphonse loved his wife Colette dearly, it did not mean that he had always been faithful. So when he brought home a beautiful baby girl one stormy evening from his ventures in France - freshly plucked from her mother’s arms (a well casted obliviate to spare her from the heartache) - Colette was less than enthused.

“She’s an Avery!” Her father had argued. His duty to take care of his own. Colette allowed it, she was a reasonable woman after all, and wouldn’t flaunt the embarrassment of infidelity. Therefore Lydia was raised as Colette’s child, and the rest of the world knew nothing different - but as much as she wasn’t a cruel woman, Colette also didn’t want Lydia to believe that she was hers. And so Lydia, and eventually her half-sister, had always been aware of where she’d come from and that no one else should know.

Lydia’s childhood wasn’t an unhappy one - she adored her sister, and until school longed for nothing because she didn’t know anything was missing from their home on the side streets of Diagon Alley. At least nothing material. It was her “mother” who Lydia longed to impress, overly eager to please Colette in an attempt to gain maternal love. It came easy to Margaret, the polite, quiet & smart girl who never had to lie about whose womb she came from. Colette’s affection for her real daughter was like any mother’s, and Lydia would do anything to gain the same. Set the table, clean the dishes, lay her slippers at her feet. It wasn’t expected, but when she could gain a smile from Colette it was worth it! She loved making people happy, and when she made people happy, they liked her back.

People pleasing became a trait that eventually embodied Lydia, and by the time she was at school, she was eager as ever to make friends. Her passion for people to like her was her greatest ambition, and it landed her into Slytherin. Despite her lack of new robes or fancy jewellery, even for the most inconsiderate people it was hard not to like Lydia’s happy-go-lucky energy - but it also allowed her to be taken advantage of quite a bit. The pushover of the group, she was often the friend who went to save seats in class or for dinner, or fetch forgotten items that weren’t even hers in the common room.

While some of her housemates were cunning enough to use Lydia to their full advantage, her friendliness didn’t center around just them, and many of her other classmates didn’t mind her company or a friendly hello! She had a knack for making them feel special, noticing things like their artistic abilities or the lovely colour of their hair or jumper. She was also smart enough to distance herself from her friend’s bad behaviour. While Lydia didn’t excel at school (something her mother would later blame on her heritage), she’d inherited a keen eye for personal politics - and could do simple math. Most of the school (and world) liked Gryffindors, and so despite Slytherins disliking Gryffindors, she didn’t need them to dislike her back. Especially if it would mean other people would dislike her too!

And so as the years passed, she became good at slipping away or keeping her distance when her cousin Arcturus would snark insults to young muggleborns, or the other kids would pick on the Hufflepuffs. Not noticeably of course, and she wasn’t any hero who’d come to their aid - she didn’t need that target after all. No she was simply neutral, because if she was neutral then no one could dislike her, could they?

PRESENT:

One of Lydia’s great loves in magical London was the infamous Moonlight Theatre. With moving pin-ups of glamourous actors and actresses, theatre elves ushering fabulously dressed couples to their seats, and wonderfully acted performances of “Walburga & Hortense, A Tragedy In Three Parts” and “Death of a Broomsmaker”, Lydia was intoxicated.

And some of the casting agents were intoxicated by her as well. A Marylin Monroe-esque soft and breathy voice, doe-eyes and an hourglass figure, some thought Lydia was made for an audience. Even her charm translated to the stage! What better career for a woman wanting to be adored then that of one in the spotlight?

But while Lydia had been willing to kiss a few frogs, and let men do what they want with her in her younger years - the pushover side of Lydia Avery grew a bit more and more of a spine as she aged. Lydia didn’t want to let every man’s hands wander, or go on dates with the director so that he could show her off on his arm and push her into bed later that night. She wanted to steal kisses from her co-star Tabitha Bradford and slip her own hands under her skirt with permission. She wanted lipstick stains on her skin, and the smell of fresh perfume instead of cologne.

And when she finally stood up for herself, she was left re-casted and jobless - her reciprocated crush suddenly silent in fear for her own unemployment.

“It’s for the best.” Her father says, never liking the sight of his eldest daughter’s moving pictures on theatre posters or the odd tabloid. It’s the first time Lydia truly gets angry with him in a long time, another parent who isn’t proud of her, but the spat causes a slip-up that stops the girl in her tracks. “It’s better that you keep yourself out of their heads! No reason to pry, no need for them to find out what you are.”

A half-blood. Dirty. The affair he’d claimed was with at least a witch wasn’t that at all! Even Colette was unaware that while he was dilly-dallying about in his younger years, it hadn’t just been with another woman. It had been with a muggle woman. A pretty girl who worked in a bakery and knew nothing of his life back home with magic.

“A harmless romp.”, Alphonse claimed, but the look in his eyes was one with shame and a bit of confusion. Even he doesn’t fully believe it but when Lydia begs to know more he pushes her away. Force he’s never used on her before. “Get it out of your head! It’s nothing. You’re a witch and if anyone asks your blood is pure. You’re my daughter and that should be good enough.”

It’s the last they speak of it. It’s for her protection, after all. Before she thought this half-secret she’d lived all her life was for pride. At least part of it is. For Colette to not have to explain to her circle what she’d lacked. But truly he’d done it to protect her, hadn’t he? Stolen her away from the family her grandfather would loathe. He’dhidden her with a shiny pureblood status to stop those like her uncle from erasing her completely.    

Eventually she finds a position she’s good at. Simple work, taking notes and fetching lunch and running errands for Judge Perryweather. A very important man, so she was told! A person who knows all the ins and outs at the ministry, and therefore Lydia has learnt quite a few things sitting at the desk in front of his office. A smile always on her face and a kind word to the right person, and they tended to tell her things she really wasn’t supposed to know. Who was having an affair, policies they were trying to push, charged witches and wizards they had on trial. From the delivery wix to the other judges, they all know her now and she knows them! And while she’s not exactly cunning, she isn’t as dim as everyone makes her out to be! She knows when to smile and charm, when to be quiet and listen, when to pretend to be invisible. It’s an interesting job, in an interesting place - and maybe if someone saw her potential she could be useful with everything that’s happening lately.

But then again, she’s not going to overstep if she’s unwanted in that area. It’s not as if someone would ask Lydia about anything. Why would they expect her to be an expert on Perryweather’s close friendship with Lucius Malfoy, or the fact that, despite him being a proud, public supporter of the Ministry of Magic, every 2 weeks an envelope filled with gallons and a list of Muggle Sympathizers names landed on her desk for her boss.

And if she offered the unwanted information, well who would take someone like her seriously?

FC CHOICES: Margot Robbie please! If she doesn’t work Blake Lively or Meghann Fahy

[yoolee]

IF LEE WROTE OTOME #11 | THE BACHE-LORE

Premise: A seer-turned-private investigator goes undercover on a supernatural reality tv dating show to solve a crime! Featuring love interests:

The (lady vampire) producer: shades of devil wears prada

Fellow contestant (faerie): Childhood rival and tricky, tricky troublemaker

Fellow contestant (fallen star): In love with love, basically an alien

Fellow contestant (fire witch):  Troublemaker with a heart of gold (liquid, scalding gold)

Onset medic (trickster spirit): a supposedly reformed descendant of Lady Luck

Assistant (kelpie): Scottish sweetheart, earnest but a little unrestrained

HEROINE: All the prophecies suggested the same thing--that the first child borne of the thirteenth generation of the heoine’s line would be a seer more powerful than any that came before. Well she is, but there's a catch--she can only See the past and the present. Great for detective work, not ideal for fortune telling (although as the saying goes, history DOES repeat itself). Works as a private investigator for the supernatural, she may be a disappointment to her family, but she keeps her clients happy. Even if it means going undercover on a reality tv dating show…Has the power to see the past and present in absolute clarity, but can't always control that power. Has a little bit of ex gifted child syndrome - where all the weighty expectations placed on her as a kid of how great she was going to be make her a sometimes paralyzed by perfectionism adult who struggles to enjoy doing things she isn't immediately good at. Perennially nervous unless she's in action. Uses snark as a defense mechanism. Has both an acute fear of failure and a gritty determination to put herself in positions where it's an option so that she can overcome that fear because she's pretty self-aware. Detail oriented and organized. Relaxes with lists and color coded spreadsheets with pivot tables. Loves old fashioned board games learned the hard way you can't live in your past. 

THE (lady vampire) PRODUCER: ancient, powerful, and totally sadistic in the sense that schadenfreude is her bread and butter (or blood and butter, if you will). Has an absolutely vicious sense of humor. Will not be shamed by societal niceties and if you try she might eat you. Had a child when she was still alive whose descendants became vampire hunters, so, that's a thing (She finds it charming and is very proud). Glamorous, successful, and makes it look effortless, but she's tough as steel and works like hell. Little bit of a devil wears Prada vibe. Has a very disturbingly spot-on understanding of the average human psyche and milks it for entertainment value. Soft spoken--but everyone listens. 

THE (faerie) CHILDHOOD RIVAL: a faerie who (supposedly) loathes the heroine on principle because her ability to See things makes her difficult to trick. Mischievous, but with a bit of a mean edge to it. Longtime rival. One of those people who is very, very smart but tends to vapid and fluttery, as she prefers to be underestimated. Pretty constantly uses magic (glamours, mesmerizing, super strength). Literally incapable of breaking a promise, so avoids making them. Wild and fun and unfettered. Definition party girl. Magician’s assistant.

THE (trickster spirit) ON SET MEDIC: coworker of the cousin. A (mostly) reformed trickster spirit (descendant of Lady Luck) who was forced to reckon with the chaos he sowed and is trying to make up for it now by taking care of people instead of screwing them over, but old habits and a chaotic nature make it hard to toe the line (especially on a set so ripe for drama). Foster dad to two werewolf siblings (all tied to aforementioned reckoning). Bundle of contradiction. Gets along swimmingly with the childhood rival. Reality-warper, but it’s sneaky (coincidences).

The (kelpie) ASSISTANT: Sent to keep an eye on the heroine by her selkie grandmother. Earnest, often friendly, prefers to dive in and figure it out as he goes. Plenty smart, just not a big fan of overthinking. A little wild. A sweetheart, but also has zero restraint. Unironically an underwear model.

The (fire witch) TROUBLEMAKER: Child of a nature elemental and a witch, which makes her powers a bit unstable. She doesn’t mean to cause trouble. It’s really more that she’s been labeled that her whole life and is presently embracing it. Has a wicked temper, but is really more bark than bite. Feels everything a little too strongly. Thought this was more of an Astounding Race reality show than a dating one. Fiery, though she resents the stereotype. Surprisingly detail oriented and an unabashed nerd, but not above solving her problems by setting them on fire. Mechanical engineer. 

The (fallen star) ROMANTIC: Fellow contestant, genuinely and unironically on the show to find love. Most romantic sap you will ever meet. Loves love. A sweet and optimistic soul. Has spent a very, very long time watching and desperate to experience. It makes her very impatient, and at times wilfully blind to things. Grants wishes, glows in the dark. Sometimes thinks people are super weird. Customer support specialist.

SUPPORTING CAST:

The cameraperson: actual incubus/succubus. Pretty standup person. Doesn't use their powers without explicit consent.

The bachelor: I guess he should probably be a love interest huh. Maybe he's the client? Or child of the client. IDK I’ll figure him out later. He’s around. 

Hotel manager: Kraken, ex-pirate, robs rich people in the desert now because that’s funny.

Cousin: younger than the heroine by two days. He was due (literally) to be the firstborn of the thirteenth generation, but the heroine was born three weeks prematurely. His parents have remained endlessly bitter about this. Some days, he is too, but most days he's glad to have the attention off and they’re black sheep together. A bit fickle in his moods, if it's not life or death he may or may not help, but if is he’ll close ranks and fight like hell. Technically a seer, but not a very strong one. Firefighter, and subsequently underpaid and overworked and tired AF literally all the time. Probably ends up hooking up with the bachelor in the end. 

Grandmothers: her dad’s mother is a selkie from Scotland who is a big believer in fucking off for a three year swim in the ocean when your loved ones are being dumbasses, and her mother’s mother is a seamstress from Korea who taught her the importance of small details and how to notice them. Both of them are staunchly and ferociously on her side, and a haven of support in a family where there is a lot of squabbling over who she is versus who she's supposed to be. Selkie grandma doesn't understand why heroine won't just find a nice fisherman and walk up to him in seaweed and a birthday suit to seal the deal, and seamstress grandma enjoys the heck out of reality tv and has a list of tips for how not to get turned into the villain when she's on air

[ortegatrash]

A Thousand Paper Stars

ARAN SUEN - SUEN WANFAA 孙芸花 [Cautious | anonymous | underworld contacts | tactician | mob boss] Nonbinary, she/her. Puppetmaster scar, fate motivation. Alcohol vice.

Pre-Sidestep/Ortega/Steel. Mentions of minor character death.

A thousand paper stars Wishes in the night A little girl sits on the doorstep and wipes away her tears.

Kept within a jar A collection of lost hopes And dreams for a future that never came to pass.

I wish for prosperity, I wish for love And the freedom to make my own way in life.

But now I collect only scars And I don't know how long I can go Before I break.

---

Sarah Wu is the first person who ever really finds you, the prettiest silk black hair and dark eyes that curled up at the edges ever so sweetly when she laughed. She smiles at your attempts to use chopsticks, demonstrates for you patiently and teases you about forgetting your heritage.

"I don't know my heritage," you tell her, because it's true. You were distilled from a giant bottle, as manufactured as the 'Made in China' label would suggest. "I...never knew my parents."

You are only a pretender despite what your shared skin and supposed common homeland say. Sometimes you feel a bit like a changeling and you only wear the glamour of human skin stretched over an unearthly skeleton. Sent to infiltrate the world of humanity.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I guess we'll just have to fix that, won't we? Were you adopted? I have friends who were adopted as babies and they've ended up in similar situations, I can show you stuff if you like!" She looks entirely too giddy about being able to teach you a culture that isn't truly yours to have.

The curl of warmth that arises in your gut at her face is something entirely new.

She hands you a small strip of patterned paper. "Write a wish," she tells you. "And then we can make it into a little paper star."

Bewildered, you just stare blankly. "Whatever for?"

She blinks owlishly before tilting her head and shrugging. "Well, why not?"

Why not.

Why not indeed. You'd never really considered doing things for the sake of doing things - everything had to have a role, a purpose before. If something could no longer serve a purpose, it was thrown out.

What are you supposed to say to her when she says something like that?

When she looks at you like...like you have value. Even though you can do nothing for her, even though you've been nothing but a burden.

You stare down at the scrap of paper for a long, long time, the paper staring irritatingly back up at you.

It never occurred to you that you could want. Could be allowed to wish for things.

You're not sure what you want.

"Besides, you can unwrap them later and see your old messages again. They're supposed to bring good luck, you know!"

Luck? Luck was a term for the superstitions people ascribed to random chance and probability, trying to see patterns in the chaos. There was nothing lucky about this task.

But she's smiling at you.

"Aran? Have you got any ideas yet?" she smiles at you.

"I'm sorry," you apologise, you hadn't meant to let her down on such a simple task. "I'm not sure I know what to wish for. Can't you just tell me what to write?"

She pauses and for a moment you freeze in fear, is she going to punish you for failing her? But Sarah simply smiles kindly at you. "No, Aran, that's not the point," her voice is gentle and it stings all the more for how you feel you've disappointed her. "It has to come from the heart. From you. It defeats the purpose if you just get someone to tell you what to do."

"I'm sorry." Your voice is barely higher than a whisper.

"No, no, you don't need to be. It's fine, you can fill it in at any time later if you want." And Sarah, lovely understanding Sarah reaches over to lift your head up. "Tell you what. I'll write my own one for you and let you hold onto to that one until the day you figure out what to write. Then I can grant you all the luck from my wish!"

She looks so pleased with herself that you haven't got the heart to say no. You peer down at her calligraphy, the Chinese characters as neat and pretty as she is. "What does it say?" You've been learning from her but it's still difficult for you.

The conspiratorial finger to her lips makes you unwittingly return her smile. "You'll just have to learn to find out, won't you?"

"You're such a tease."

"You like it, though."

"...Maybe."

---

The colours are faded now, the corners worn.

Sarah's star has been a constant through all the things you've been through and now…

Now it's been drenched, old ink starting to blot through. Soon it will nothing but a sad mushy pile of paper.

It hurts. It hurts so bad to lose the last thing you have of Sarah, her sweet kisses and tender voice disappearing like leaves on the wind.

Maybe why that's you carefully unwrap the soggy remains of the paper star. You want to catch her final message to you, years in the sending.

Her handwriting hits you like a dagger to the heart - you'd forgotten she drew hearts over her 'i's when she was feeling whimsical, before her cheeky English letters neatly transition into pretty little chinese characters. Forgotten the way the lines curled and danced, playful to the end.

Dear star,

I wish for Aran to bloom into herself, like a shrinking violet into an elegant rose! I wish for her to have friends. I wish for us to have many more happy moments together and I wish for her to be happy when I'm gone.

...She knew.

You stare at the dissolving remains.

Something so precious.

Gone so easily, so carelessly, so quickly. Just like her.

Something inside you breaks and you let out a quiet sob, dropping to your knees. It's not like you to be this emotional but you'd always known that eventually the dam would break. You hadn't expected the last blow to come like this.

It hurts so much to know you've disappointed her. None of her wishes have come true. It figures that you would even keep disappointing her after her death.

---

Chen's cold face hits you like a slap whenever you look at him. He could have been her brother and you can't help but resent the way you gaze at him and feel the sting of her loss. It pains you to look into those dark eyes that are filled with nothing but suspicion where you keep helplessly searching for the warm adoration that never comes.

It really doesn't help.

If you keep seeing her distorted memory in Chen's face, it's in Ricardo you truly see her soul reflected in. In the way he teases and loves so freely and looks at you with such warm smiles.

It's not the same. She deserves better than this and Ricardo deserves better than to be your rebound, to be used as your second choice because you're in too much grief after her loss. He wants more, you know that...but you just can't. Not when the memory of her touch still haunts your dreams, even as you begin to forget her face. When those sweet smiles turn into tight frowns and dark eyes start to look at you with such wariness that you want to just break down and scream. Scream at Chen for existing, scream at Ricardo for smiling at you with the wrong face and scream at the world for taking the woman you loved away.

And then your world falls apart once more, And this time you have no photos left to remember anything with.

---

You will never forgive the world for taking away even the last remnants of her existence, the photos you used to touch so delicately and try to recommit her face into mind with. The glass teapot she gave you as a housewarming gift and the bundles of herbal tea she gave you along with it all. So many afternoons on the front porch drinking rosebud tea and munching on prawn crackers together as she giggled over your terrible pronunciation and offered to give you a practical demonstration in where to put your tongue.

It's her you should thank for your fluent Cantonese that gets you connections to the triads, helps plant the seeds of your little criminal organisation into sprouting into something bigger than you could have ever imagined. Perhaps it was fate that you met her - that everything in your life was all just the set up for this. You are no longer as hopeful and foolish enough to think you can really escape your destiny anymore, that you could ever have been a real hero.

As inevitable as gravity.

It's almost laughable how everyone thinks you're just the demure little wife of some bigger fish as you pour them cups of jasmine tea and smile sweetly at them. If they're going to stereotype you as some spineless submissive housewife you might as well play up to their expectations. No one really pays attention to you as you seat yourself with your legs underneath you out of the way, a pleasant little host to the end.

And truly, what an end it is as they die suffocation on the clear powder you slipped into their tea. As you quietly ring the little bell you have to signal your gang to dispose of the trash and ask how their day has been.

It's all just business. But that doesn't mean you have to be rude.

---

These days you're too tired to be angry. Even Chen's attempts to get to you don't work anymore - you are above that now. Calm. Collected. Untouchable.

It makes Ortega sad to see. "You never smile anymore," he says, softly.

"There's been little to smile about lately." But you give him a small, sad smile anyway because even he hasn't escaped unscathed by the long years. The distance between you has given you perspective - you can finally see him as he is without the weight of comparison standing on his shoulders. See the way he looks at you like you're the ghost now, and isn't that such a strange turnaround?

Sarah is gone, but you are still here. You are still here drinking tea with Ortega, and if you pour something a little harder than just plain tea into your cup, that's hardly any reason for him to judge you. Especially considering the way he's been drinking as well.

Looking at the way those lips smile down at you does strange things to your stomach, even as you feel guilty for betraying her memory.  You didn't...you didn't think you would ever love again, not after her. And...and you really thought you were getting better at this, that you weren't just comparing Chen and Ortega to a woman they could never be.

So why.

Why do you still want Ortega to kiss you with those cheeky lips?

Why do you want Chen to look at you with those dark eyes with soft affection and not wary suspicion?

It would never work out. It would never work out and you know it all too well. Having emotions and desires is so very hard to deal with when they get in the way like this, if they could have trained that completely out of you life would have been much easier. But no. You just had to start caring. It's all so messy and frustrating and you absolutely resent yourself for it.

Do you even like men, or is this all just the fading remnants of the only things that remind you of her? Are these just expectations they pushed on you for being what they assumed was female?  Do they...do they even respect the fact that you're not quite fully a woman, despite how you tend to look? You couldn't stand it if they would just put you into some mental picture of the demure 1950s housewife you use as an act. Because that's just it. Another act, another role to take on when convenient and useful for your purposes.

You tend to be discreet with your androgynous looks, but Ortega at least knows your relationship with gender tends to be a bit...loose. You're not really sure what Chen thinks - perhaps that you like to dress up as a tomboy at times.

You just shake your head and pour tea for them both. And if Chen quietly gives you a little nod of acknowledgement in thanks, and if Ortega smiles at you like he's simply happy to be in your presence…

Well. You'll take your little joys where you can get them.

[kvyvs]

blood moon | a kaya event self para

What had started as an entertaining evening was quickly winding its way toward becoming one of the biggest wastes of time Kaya had ever subjected herself to. The ceremony binding her king to the waifish courtesan had been a little dull, but it had served a purpose and Kaya was happy to sit through it without complaint. It had also given her ample time to antagonize Raharuhi from a distance, which more than made up for the droning of the officiant. Then came the reception, where she’d expected things to liven up significantly. Dancing, food, music, and plenty of drinks to go around? How could it not?

And yet here she was a few hours later, prowling the edges of the room in a discontented sulk. It was formal and stuffy, too rich for her base-born blood. Getting a rise out of the pirate faerie had been the highlight of the evening so far. Mingling with a few of the mortal seadogs and their guests had been diverting for a moment, particularly to see the reactions of those humans unaccustomed to the presence of vampires. So twitchy, these fragile little things, and so skittish. She’d even gotten to take a turn around the dance floor with an absolutely stunning woman, so the night wasn’t a complete loss. Then there was that mysterious man who’d smelled faintly of blood—another brief distraction. But he’d set off something in the back of her mind which was now starting to bother her more as her brain sought desperately for something else to latch onto. Something about him had felt... off. Not the blood, not the way he spoke, but something else, something illusive about him. She felt that undefinable something when she’d approached others throughout the night. Some eyed her nervously (and rightly so), others hid their tension passably well. But all of them had felt off.

And it was driving her insane trying to reason out what had made them feel that way. Every single one had been just another boring, blood-filled human she wasn’t allowed to touch. She hadn’t even been allowed to punish the boy-king who had dared to show his face at a celebration he had specifically been excluded from. Perhaps that was it, just her frustration at not being permitted to dine on these free-range meatsacks. She had to pin her frustration on something. And between them and all the fae and merfolk wandering around, she was fast getting tired of seeing other people. None of them were vampires, her people, and she wanted them gone. It wasn’t her house or her event, though, so she couldn’t tell everyone to fuck off, only lurk against the wall and scowl from under her brows at everyone who waltzed by her.

Kaya heaved a sigh and crossed her arms, fingers finding their way yet again to the edge of the wing she wore as a cape, fondling the delicate membrane and fine hairs that remained perfectly preserved thanks to Orpheus’s intervention. She might just call it a wash and leave soon. None of the other Children would be home, so she’d have time to herself to wander about her estate like a perfect stereotype of her species, listless and brooding. She inhaled for another sigh as she pushed off from the wall, intending to make her way to Gabriel and pay her final respects before departing.

That sigh never made it out. Kaya froze, stiff as a marble statue, nostrils flaring and pupils dilating.

Wolf.

Not fur and fangs and forest like the common animal that roamed the land. But a distinctive musk, heated and sickening in her sinuses. It reeked of both human flesh and fur, of paw pads melting into the soles of feet. It was an indescribable scent to anyone who had never smelled it before, but like all vampires, Kaya was intimately aware of its meaning.

There was a werewolf here.

She didn’t move an inch as her eyes raked the crowds before her, looking for anything and everything that might give the beast away. The scent was faint, but she’d find it in a dunghill, that’s how distinct it was. It was a full moon, the lot of them should be out fucking each other raw in the Wilde Wood like the filthy animals they were. How one had managed to find its way in here without turning and revealing itself... how it had even gotten past the guards, she couldn’t fathom. Unless they had a glamour of some kind?

Kaya began moving again, careful, languid motions which took her once again on a circular path round the edge of the room. But this time, there was no sulking or brooding. The look in her eyes was predatory, like a tiger stalking a herd of deer, and anyone who met her gaze instantly tensed up, fear rolling off of them in delicious waves. It took a paltry effort and a few muttered words to compel them back into complacency, but she didn’t linger to watch their expressions slide back into placid disinterest. She’d caught the scent again, and every ounce of her attention was focused on tracking it through the throngs of guests.

After a few minutes, her eyes alighted on a young man several yards ahead of her. He was fiddling nervously with a ring on his right hand, eyes twitching around to everyone in his vicinity with the air of someone in pain and looking for help. As she observed him, he was joined by a taller man with dark blonde hair and a beard. They spoke in hushed tones, and at this distance Kaya couldn’t make out what they were saying. But she saw how the younger man calmed slightly, how the blonde man patted his shoulder, they way they both eyed the ring which the boy seemed to have difficulty not playing with.

She waited until the tall blonde had left before moving closer. The young man still smelled vaguely of anxiety, but it was muted. Blocked somehow. Like the man she’d spoken to who’d faintly smelled of fresh blood. He clenched and unclenched his hands, as though trying not to scratch an itch, before seemingly giving in and once again twisting the ring on his hand. As the metal slid slightly forward on his finger, Kaya caught another whiff of the telltale heated musk and fur. Ohh, yes, this little pup was far, far from home. And Kaya would have bet her priceless faerie-wing cape that that ring was a glamour of some kind.

Her steps were silent under the string music and the babble as she closed the gap between them. He didn’t even notice her slide up behind him until she laid a hand on his shoulder, at which he jumped like she’d yelled in his ear. “Hi there, kid,” she said with a grin. Mere inches from him, the scent of werewolf was stronger than ever, and as she met his eyes, there was a silent moment of understanding between them. The boy’s eyes widened in fear, sickening realization glistening out of the baby blues as he saw her blown out pupils boring into him with feral glee. She needed no further prompting.

Lightning fast, the hand on the young man’s shoulder was at his throat, his fear making her head nearly spin as it wafted around them like a sweet cologne. He yelped, drawing the eyes of a few bystanders, but Kaya didn’t care. She was already pulling him by the neck through the crowds towards the dais where the thrones of her king and new queen sat. Murmurs rose up around her, fighting against the music. She noticed none of it. Her blood might run cold in her eternal life, but it rushed through her body to deafen her, singing with the thrill of the hunt and anticipation of the prize she now dragged across the marble floor.

“Your Majesty!” Kaya’s voice rang out over the low thunder of curious chatter. The musicians finally stopped their bows, and all eyes turned to her as she hauled the young man up to her liege. Kaya’s mouth split in a cheshire-like beam as she looked up at Gabriel lounged in his throne, and lifted the mutt in her hand up for him to see. “I thought you might like to know we have a gatecrasher here tonight.” She sneered at the boy, who struggled in her grip, whimpering. She knew little of werewolves beyond the best ways to kill them, but this whelp was so clearly an omega she had to laugh. “A werewolf. And not alone, either. I saw him with another one of his filthy brethren. They’re glamoured, only thing that explains how they weaseled their way in,” she added, reaching for the ring on his hand.

The boy jerked in her grip, so sudden that she nearly lost her hold on him. He stumbled, failing to keep his feet, and as he slipped Kaya snatched his hand, brought it to her mouth, and snapped her teeth down on his fingers.

A scream ripped from his throat as his middle and ring fingers were severed and left to fill Kaya’s mouth. Blood splattered across the floor, drawing shocked gasps and screams from the crowd. Kaya spat, sending the fingers skittering, and held up the ring her tongue had slipped from them. The burnished copper wolf head gleamed dully in the light, rivulets of red running from the crevasses down Kaya’s hand. The boy began to shake violently in her grip, his whimpers of pain turning into snarls as his bestial side began to break through the hold the glamour had placed on it. She released him and watched him writhe on the floor. Human skin vanished under fur, claws sprang from his fingertips, bones cracked and his suit was shredded as his skeleton reformed itself. In a matter of seconds, he was was snarling up at her from four legs, his right front paw bloody and tucked up to protect the remaining toes.

The wolf snapped, more defensive than antagonizing, but Kaya dodged it easily. The pup was young and inexperienced, and the glamour of the ring he’d worn was likely not as strong as it should have been to get him through the whole evening. Drawing a curved blade from its hiding place in her boot, she seized the beast by his scruff, yanked his head back, and drew the blade across his throat in one fluid motion. His gurgling howl was cut short as she exerted her vampiric strength to tear his head fully from his shoulders.

By this point, the gasps and screams had died down into a horrified, tense silence. The assassin held the werewolf’s head aloft, looking out over the crowd, a vision of carnage with blood dripping from her chin and eyes burning like coals.

“Any other mongrels want to pay their respects to the bride and groom?”

[taocastleprincess]

inktober for writers // day 6 // ‘tentacles’ & ‘I’m grateful for you’

A/N: this short story features my babies!! Nurina Naderi and Prince Xander. (if you follow me you’ve probably seen me tag hella quotes and pictures with either of their names, lol) i created them my sophomore year of college in my creating writing class taught by Daniel José Older!! it’s been like three years since then and Nurina and Xander still aren’t totally fleshed out but they’re realer and their story is so much grander than what I first envisioned back then! i love fantasy, urban especially, and the integration of lesser known African myths into stories. Both of my characters are Black, bisexual/pan, and unapologetic. can’t wait to be finished fleshing out and writing the entirety of their story so we can get my babies published and OUT THERE! i love them! and i hope this v short story that i wrote for day 6 makes you love them a little bit too.

also!! the Man-Eating Tree featured in this short is adapted from the Man-Eating Tree myth from several tribes/ethnic groups in Madagascar. According to myth, the tree ate people by capturing them with their tentacle-like leaves, crushing them to near-death and then throwing the victim into the base of the tree to, finally, eat them whole. Spooky, right?!

For once, the mayhem and chaos that they’ve found themselves in doesn’t leave a grin on Xander’s face. And, even though that on a pain scale of 1 - 10 she’s clearing a 14.5, Nurina can’t help but feel an absurd amount of impish glee. Maybe the fae are rubbing off on her. “What’s wrong, Princey? Finally bit off more than you can ch— Oh my God. My arm feels like it’s going to fall off. That tree is a goddamn monster.” Her right arm is swollen and bleeding with circular bruises marking the places where she has ripped away tentacles. Yes, tentacles. The things that belong on squids and octopi. Not trees. Especially not man-eating trees. Xander looks pale, a rare occurrence for a faerie from the Summer Court. His brown eyes blankly look Nurina up and down stopping on her arm for a long period each time. Nuri’s excitement at his current state quickly dissipates. His sleek brown body isn’t made for sagging, his ethereal eyes aren’t crafted for emotionless stares. Even the sunlit glow that usually accompanies his glamourless body is nearly missing, only barely outlining the edges of his shape. He looks like a different creature. Exhausted, reluctant. Defeated. “Xander, you big idiot, I know what you’re thinking.” She pushes herself off the ground with her good arm, careful not to jostle her other arm any more than she has to. She walks to the faerie’s side trying to mask her labored breathing. “This isn’t anyone’s fault. I messed up. We messed up. We do this all the time. Remember the talent show? That was way worse than this so I don’t know why you’re being such a big ba—“ “Because we know that the stakes are higher now, Nurina!” His deep voice reverberates through the night air sending a shock throughout the woods that shakes the branches of the trees surrounding them. Nurina recoils, unused to the fae using such harsh tones with her. He doesn’t talk to her like that. Not ever. Nurina immediately feels a wave of calm trying to force its way in. A cloud of foreign emotion trying to mask her unease. Anger flares within her at the realization of what’s happening and the surge of fresh, genuine emotion rips through the incoming haze, piercing the glamour. “Do not do that, Xander. Do not mess with my emotions, do not try to shut me up! What the hell is wrong with you lately?” Against her will her voice cracks and shakes and she can feel her eyes start to water. Weren’t they past this? The crossing of boundaries, the complete disregard of each other’s feelings? Weren’t they friends now? Why is everything such a mess? She thought that freeing him from The Realm had solidified their partnership, their growth, their respect for one another. But the only thing it has done is bring her an almost impossible mission and an almost unrecognizable companion, a shadow of the mischievous prince she used to know. “I was not trying to shut you up or deceive you. You were about to shut down. Like you always do.” His words are direct and cool but his warm brown eyes shine with worry. “I can’t have you shutting down on me tonight. Or any time. Not anymore.” His handsome features are marred by distress making him look older and more severe. His face is more suited for smiles, sly winks, flirty gazes, Nurina thinks subconsciously. “Well then talk to me! I don’t ‘shut down,’ I just leave because no one thinks I’m important enough to talk to! Not yell at. Not condescend to. Just talk.” Xander opens his mouth to speak and Nuri lifts her good arm to push an open palm into his face. “No. Just shut up first. You’d think that after I singlehandedly broke you out of Fancy-Faerie-Prison and cleared your name of murder, you’d stop saying stupid, sexist shit like ‘you’re too emotional! You’ll shut down! You won’t be able to handle it!’ And start actually treating me like an equal! But I guess that’s too much to ask for, huh, asshole?” “I’m not sexist,” Xander says after a long pause causing Nuri to raise her eyebrows disbelievingly. “I think humans, in general, are overemotional.” “Shut the hell up. It’s done. Just let me know what’s up. This ‘tortured and aloof magical prince’ act is old.” Xander sighs. His eyes wander to Nurina’s mangled arm again. He takes it, gently, and examines it thoroughly before carefully placing it back by her side. Even with the arm being numb with excruciating pain, his touch still brings pleasant tingles. She wonders if he can sense what she feels right now. Her cheeks flush thinking of such an embarrassing scenario. “Are you really okay?” He asks softly, almost whispering. Nuri suddenly becomes distinctly aware of how quiet it is. Everything is still. Nothing dares to move. Even the wind is steady. “Not your arm but you. Are you okay?” “What?” “This isn’t normal, Nurina. What we’re getting into. It’s not... It isn’t like before.” “It’s never been normal, genius. You’re a faerie. A Faerie prince. Half a year ago I didn’t even believe in you and I thought that the only nation who still thought monarchies were cool was the UK.” Xander squints at her and Nuri swallows a laugh. Faeries. They’re so sensitive about their outdated systems of governance. “And anyway,” she continues, “this is exactly like before! We run into some weird thing from your Realm, we get beat up, the tables turn and then the baddie gets beat up, somebody heals us, and then we go home! This is normal. This is our normal. What is your deal? You didn’t have anything to say about it before.” “Right. That was before I got accused of murder, we both were nearly killed, found out the deaths of both our mothers are linked, and learned we have, maybe, less than a year to save The Realm and your city.” He talks slowly and enunciates each word as if talking to a young child. Exasperation ages his features and makes him look much older than his 17 years. “Excuse me for not thinking that ‘this is our normal.’ This kind of disaster isn’t even typical for the darkest part of The Realm. We are dealing with things much more sensitive than you’d like to admit, Nurina, like it or not. “Maybe it was always going to end up like this. Especially since we’re carrying the responsibility for choices that were made long before we were even able to walk. But...” Nurina watches pain and regret flash across Xander’s face and her stomach twists in agony. “Maybe... if that day by the Basin...” “Xander, you know that’s not true. We always had to find each other. And I’m not talking about fate or any of that dumb stuff. I’m talking common sense. You had to find me, regardless. I’m the only one who can hone whatever-the-hell is inside the gems. Me. My mom left that task to me. So the day we first met at the Tidal Basin? That day has nothing to do with where we are now.” She reaches out to grab his hand. It’s warm. Unnaturally so. Most faeries’ internal temperatures run extremely high. Xander, being a Summer Fae, is no different. “Look at my arm, Xander. Look at it,” Nuri raises her arm as far as she can, wincing at the sudden movement. “It’s messed up. Effed up! All because of this!” She lifts her neck to put the dull but entrancing necklace draping her chest on display. “This,” she juts her neck even higher, “is why my life is crap. This is why my mom is dead. This is why I have to add ‘save the entirety of effing D.C. and all of Faerie World’ on my Senior Checklist. Not you.” Nuri squeezes Xander’s hand and she’s filled with warmth when he squeezes back and gives her a faint smile. “‘Faerie World?’ You make it sound like a cartoon,” Xander says, voice slightly lilting in that playful way of his. “Funny because I did get that from a cartoon. You ever seen The Fairly-Odd Parents?” “No, but I’m sure it’s quite offensive and full of baseless stereotypes.” “You’re not wrong,” Nuri winks. Xander laughs lightly and squeezes her hand again. “Come on. We need to hurry up and burn this thing before it starts to germinate the area. And then we need to head to Ryhaewa’s before your arm sits for too long. You know his balms work better the fresher the injury is.” “You didn’t kill it already? Didn’t you burn it?” “I did burn it,” Xander starts while pulling Nuri along with him back towards the husk that’s left of the carnivorous tree, but to actually kill it you have to burn it from the inside out. Otherwise it’ll respawn and come back stronger and more intelligent than before. You have to burn the heart.” “It has a heart?” “Most things do.” Xander lets Nurina’s hand go and walks even closer to the tree. She uses the opportunity to raise her hand over her nose and mouth to try and block out some of the stench. What is left of the tree smells of dying, festering flesh. Most of it is burnt and black but some of its tentacle branches still live, whipping themselves into dizzying patterns, soundlessly threatening him. Nurina gets sick thinking about the damage those huge tentacles could impart on him. He’s strong, supernaturally so, but he’s not invincible by any means. He’s not immortal. “Xand—“ “See? You humans. So overwrought. I’ll be fine, little light.” Nurina’s cheeks heat up at the endearment. “I was actually going to tell you to hurry the hell up. Some of us need immediate medical attention, you ass.” Xander laughs again and this time it’s his usual one. Loud and lovely. Joyous. It feels like the perfect summer day has taken residence inside of her. When he reaches the base of the tree, Xander’s hands start glowing intensely. Summerish light pours out of his hands and even though Nurina is several feet away she can start to feel the heat emanating from his palms. She starts to sweat as she watches the tentacle branches squirm in discomfort and fury and latch themselves onto Xander’s body. Nurina can see their bodies constricting, trying to weaken the faerie. Trying to squeeze the life out of him. Her own mangled arm throbs with sharper pain just watching. “Xander!” He has started a small flame at the base of the tree but the tentacles still squeeze, still trying to suck at his energy. One of the tentacles hanging onto his arm catches her attention. It seems to be the strongest one and it rewraps itself around his forearm. She can hear its suction cups digging into Xander’s skin and this time she can tell it hurts him because the fae’s body jerks and the light shooting from his hands dims. Almost indiscernibly. “It’s eating you!” “Yes. It is. It is a flesh-eating tree.” She tries to laugh but Nuri can hear the strain in his voice. She wants to go to him, to run in and save the day but she doesn’t. She can’t. She’s fragile, human. She couldn’t even withstand five seconds of one of those tentacles wrapped around her arm. So if she were in Xander’s position... The fire grows and the tentacles start to weaken but he’s still not out of danger. Nurina caresses her bad arm and tries to relax. She’s out of commission but she’s with the strongest, smartest fae she knows. And doesn’t he always get everything under control eventually? Trust. She has to let go and trust in him. It’s hard to take the back seat when all you’ve ever been trained to do is take charge. To save everyone else. To make sure that all the collateral damage only falls on you. She watches Xander continue to battle the weakening tentacles. Some things can’t be helped. She can’t be the hero all the time. Sometimes it’s not her job. The tentacles start to sag as the fire grows bigger and burns brighter. The area is hit with another stench-wave of burning flesh. Xander looks over his shoulder, his smile stretches across his entire face as he winks. Sometimes someone else has to step in. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be saved. “I’m so grateful for you,” Nurina whispers. If he were a human, he wouldn’t have heard her, but he wasn’t and he did. His face slacks in genuine surprise at the vulnerability of her words. “To you. You think you ruined my life. But you didn’t. Trust me. We’re a team. We have to cover each other’s asses every once in a while. And that’s cool. I don’t mind battling entire fancy, magical monarchies for you.” She giggles a bit. She would mind, a tiny bit, if she had to do that again. “Especially since you’re my best friend and you’ve saved my broken ass everyday since that afternoon downtown.” There is a long pause. The tree is dead now and its tentacles shrivel. Xander kicks them into the fire, making sure to destroy every part of the monsterish tree. After he circles the entire fire and concedes that there’s nothing left to be burned he walks slowly over to Nurina. When he reaches her he only gazes into her eyes. Summery brown pools of honey meet incredible depths of dark, almost black, brown. “You’re not broken. That’s first. Second, you’ve saved me from execution and a traitorous plot on my life. I owe you my life twice over.” “You don’t owe me anything.” “No, little light,” Xander says and taps the apple of her cheek twice with his pointer finger, “I owe you quite a lot. You’re too generous. I don’t do much saving. It’s against my nature,” he winks mischievously. Nurina smiles. “I think your nature is changing.” Xander laughs. “No, I just have exceptions.” He sobers then and stares intently at her, completely shifting the tone from one of light jest to something heavier. “Nurina.” He doesn’t just say her name, he commands it. Brings it to attention. The hair on her neck stands on end. “Yes?” “You’re right,” he says. “We are a team. Equals. We have to be.” Nuri nods her head silently while Xander absentmindedly continues to tap her cheek. “But you need to tell me when you feel that everything is too much. You’re not being honest with me.” “Wha—“ “Listen. You’re brilliant. Strong. Capable. You’ve proven me wrong, the Courts, the entire Realm. But you don’t have to prove anything else. You’ve barely given yourself time to rest. You’re dead set on placing yourself into an early grave, Nurina. And I will stop you before that happens.” Xander’s finger stops its tapping and instead gently winds down her cheek and curves to rest lightly under her chin. “We’re equals, Nurina. But I won’t ever hesitate to snatch you back from the edge. We’re a team; you don’t get to jump into suicide missions.” Nurina laughs and swipes his hand away from her face. She’s warm all over, buzzing with giddiness, but the last thing she needs is to give her local cocky faerie prince another reason to think he’s hot shit. “That sounds a whole lot like saving to me.” Xander smiles. “Only for you, little light.”